Somebody's goin to jail ho's

Pokey, slammer, big house, slipn slide, lockdown, and last but not least the jailhouse. These are just a few names for the place where those are incarcerated.
Ho's I'm not joking when I tell you that what Bill and I have in store for my annual 4th of July celebration may be one our biggest explosions yet. The last couple of years have been nice, but this year might just lead to a misdemeanor conviction.
Every 4th of July, Tugboat brings the fire to fireworks. Ho's throughout my travels of these United States the one thing apparent is not all states are created equal when it comes to selling, and shooting off fireworks.
The states with the best boom boom's are as follows. 1. Tennessee 2. Missouri 3. Wyoming
The states with the worst? Of course Nevada and Colorado
Nevada sells some of the lamest shit I have ever seen. Talk about a matchstick, and cola fizz.
But that has never kept me from being the life of the celebration.
Even though the fireworks in Nevada suck it doesn't stop the numerous outlaws who purchase the big stuff, and bring it on home.
On my way to the house I field several calls from those who enjoy this festive occasion most. My niece's. The only question really? "are you bringing firecrackers?"
FIRECRACKERS? That would be an insult.

Yes, I have firecrackers. Two big ass firecrackers to be exact.
Honey, those punks ass teenage boys at the end of the block are in for a roll call.
Anyho, who better to wake the home owner's association ass up?
Well Good Buddies, I'm so excited I can hardly breath. Just buying those boom booms made me all jittery, and happy.
Hopefully I will report of the wonderful time I had during my stay at the house, or I'll be having a guest blogger until I make bail.
Either way I'm going to ring the alarm. Wish us luck.
FYI dont worry I'll be shooting off the bounty at a top secret location. Number 9's house. It's top secret. Hell she dont even know. hehe Don't get your panties in a wad, when's the last time you seen concrete, and stucco burn?
Let's Ride Ho's

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

Unknown said…
Pictures! Please.... Sounds fantastic!
July 2, 2009 at 2:13 PM
Mistress Maddie said…
Tugboat, you are just to damn much ho! Well just make sure you be careful and keep all five digits on each hand! I'm heading to the beach for the 4th, so I'll make sure David contacts me if you go to the big house for the jail house rock! Tootles!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO-
Maddie
July 2, 2009 at 2:51 PM
Mr.Mischief said…
Looking at the size of those firecrackers, I'm thinking I'm gonna hear em here in Michigan!
July 2, 2009 at 3:23 PM
the dogs' mother said…
I'm proud to say our neighborhood got arrested one year. The same year the minister's front yard tree somehow caught fire...
July 2, 2009 at 3:40 PM
Miss Ginger Grant said…
I wish I could be there to see them! Those things look awesome!
July 2, 2009 at 6:06 PM
David Dust said…
For Godbunny's sakes - BE CAREFUL!!

xoxoxoxo
July 2, 2009 at 6:49 PM
#9 said…
Your gonna what?....where???Damn Sam I think I am going to leave you with the kids and I am going to CA!!!
LOL
#9
July 2, 2009 at 7:02 PM
kayce. said…
OMFG ~ those look like bricks of dynamite, not firecrackers, LOL. can't wait for the video on this one...
July 3, 2009 at 7:25 AM
Dan said…
take some pictures of the hot cops!!!
July 4, 2009 at 6:23 AM
mrs.missalaineus said…
the only fireworks legal here in the feral mitten are friggin sparklers....seriously if it spins or shoots off the ground or goes boom it's illegal. which is why i am going down to indiana to visit my friend kelly who happens to live by not one, not two but three (yeah i counted) three fireworks factories. i am getting me some three inch mortars so i can break all three laws at once and be efficient in my lawlessness.

happy 4th !!!

xxalainaxx
July 5, 2009 at 6:17 PM
Ms. Moon said…
Can I just say that Ms. Joy has sent some very interesting people to my blog?
Hmmm. Sam.
July 6, 2009 at 6:52 PM
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