Oh gawd, What a week already. I did some things around the house but sleeping has become the norm, when I'm not eating.
So. On the 26th, it will be one year since #9 shot across the sky in rocking light of fire. It was Friday, just about noon on that day when I whispered in her ear and ask if this was it.
She said three words.
I love you.
Gone like that.
On Friday that week she was in Phoenix at the Cancer Center of America. Walking, Talking and doing her thing. Although the news was shitty as hell and they said she would be needing to check in to hospice centers back in Texas, she walked to the airplane, flew back to Texas and walked to her car at the airport.
She was a tough old broad as Mom would say.
She called me on her journey home to tell me the news and what they had advised her to do. It was a tough talk but we had it.
I drove over to see her for the weekend and knew when I left Sunday I would be back on Wednesday, which i did.
When I got there Tuesday she was in some pain a
nd not wanting to do anything but sleep. She had fought a good fight for 10 years with the last two on some type of Chemo.
During the last two years she would also battle off brain cancer and vertigo. We joked the whole time about all of it. We figured that we might as well laugh to keep from crying.
Wednesday she was less talkative and dozing in and out of it. I don't know if it was medicine or cancer but it didn't matter at this point.
The liver cancer had caused her to swell and this was very hard to deal with. I just wanted her to not hurt anymore.
Thursday I laid on the bed with her and told her I was sorry about all of this and I was so hurt and said that I couldn't do anything about her being sick. I told her I would miss her so much. We cried and she ask me to watch out for her kids. I know it was all small talk. I held her hands and laid in the bed with her just pondering all this.
Friday morning she was declining quickly, not as alert.
Nobody expected her to leave that soon, I mean I kept thinking that she would just linger on for a few days.
Hospice had come in and they had started doing some monitoring. One nurse said it wouldn't be long.
It wasn't.
Everyone was going about their day, the kids had gone to school and Courtney, at her Mom's insisting went to Seattle to see her girlfriend. Jayden had went to a Finals track meet in Houston.
Jody, her husband was outside and it was just me and a close friend of #9 when she took that deep breath and went away.
Then one by one folks came in and this was probably the worst part of it all. The devastation and despair of losing someone you loved so much. It felt like a car wreck over and over agian.
First her husband, and then the kids came in as the arrived home not knowing that the end had come. The youngest came home and this probably the hardest for me.
She sat in the living room in a reclined chair so that everyone who knew and loved her could come say goodbye, She wanted to be cremated with no casket funeral.
Her service was held a few weeks later, it was beautiful.
So. On the 26th, it will be one year since #9 shot across the sky in rocking light of fire. It was Friday, just about noon on that day when I whispered in her ear and ask if this was it.
She said three words.
I love you.
Gone like that.
On Friday that week she was in Phoenix at the Cancer Center of America. Walking, Talking and doing her thing. Although the news was shitty as hell and they said she would be needing to check in to hospice centers back in Texas, she walked to the airplane, flew back to Texas and walked to her car at the airport.
She was a tough old broad as Mom would say.
She called me on her journey home to tell me the news and what they had advised her to do. It was a tough talk but we had it.
I drove over to see her for the weekend and knew when I left Sunday I would be back on Wednesday, which i did.
When I got there Tuesday she was in some pain a
During the last two years she would also battle off brain cancer and vertigo. We joked the whole time about all of it. We figured that we might as well laugh to keep from crying.
Wednesday she was less talkative and dozing in and out of it. I don't know if it was medicine or cancer but it didn't matter at this point.
The liver cancer had caused her to swell and this was very hard to deal with. I just wanted her to not hurt anymore.
Thursday I laid on the bed with her and told her I was sorry about all of this and I was so hurt and said that I couldn't do anything about her being sick. I told her I would miss her so much. We cried and she ask me to watch out for her kids. I know it was all small talk. I held her hands and laid in the bed with her just pondering all this.
Friday morning she was declining quickly, not as alert.
Nobody expected her to leave that soon, I mean I kept thinking that she would just linger on for a few days.
Hospice had come in and they had started doing some monitoring. One nurse said it wouldn't be long.
It wasn't.
Everyone was going about their day, the kids had gone to school and Courtney, at her Mom's insisting went to Seattle to see her girlfriend. Jayden had went to a Finals track meet in Houston.
Jody, her husband was outside and it was just me and a close friend of #9 when she took that deep breath and went away.
Then one by one folks came in and this was probably the worst part of it all. The devastation and despair of losing someone you loved so much. It felt like a car wreck over and over agian.
First her husband, and then the kids came in as the arrived home not knowing that the end had come. The youngest came home and this probably the hardest for me.
She sat in the living room in a reclined chair so that everyone who knew and loved her could come say goodbye, She wanted to be cremated with no casket funeral.
Her service was held a few weeks later, it was beautiful.
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