Momma

Happy Birthday Marie.

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I've learned a lot in the last few years. One thing is my ability to keep moving forward regardless of what's happening around me.  My sister is terminal, a lifer.   She's now 46 and her youngest just turned 10.  6 years ago it was breast cancer and  lymph nodes. We had hoped it was all behind us but this was a hope we only wished for.  MD Anderson said two years.  I remain calm and steady, on the outside.  Inside I'm a flying superman with a wicked cape that doesn't keep me at a level altitude. I die with every bit of turbulence.  I will never breath a word of this to anyone, my mad ride in my head.  My Facebook post are generic.  This will now be my place to let it go. All of it.  Bill will never understand my thoughts on any of this. He's never even lost a parent. He still lives in the innocent world that everybody lives forever.  Sure people have survived this. Bob lost his sister and I read every post of his. It broke my h...
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HOWDY!!

Is anybody out there???? Everyone has left the blogs for facebook, including me. Well I'm back for at least this post. I'm no longer driving a truck. Bill and I live in Monte Vista, a historic district within the city limits of San Antonio, Texas. Number 9 has moved to the Houston Area along with all her kids in tow. Texas was where we grew up and it appears we left for all the right reasons. Getting back to the neanderthal ways of life are a huge adjustment but trust me, I'm having a much easier time than #9. She has been bombarded by southern Baptist at every turn and it has been a trying time for her to readjust. Back in June I was hurt on the job in Ohio and required a 10 day hospital stay followed by several months of therapy. I'm just now almost back at where I began and hopefully by the middle of the new year, I'll be good as new again. Why the move??several. But the most important one?  well #9 went for her three month check up in Las Vegas back in ...
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Oh gawd, What a week already. I did some things around the house but sleeping has become the norm, when I'm not eating. So. On the 26th, it will be one year since #9 shot across the sky in rocking light of fire. It was Friday, just about noon on that day when I whispered in her ear and ask if this was it. She said three words. I love you. Gone like that. On Friday that week she was in Phoenix at the Cancer Center of America. Walking, Talking and doing her thing. Although the news was shitty as hell and they said she would be needing to check in to hospice centers back in Texas, she walked to the airplane, flew back to Texas and walked to her car at the airport. She was a tough old broad as Mom would say. She called me on her journey home to tell me the news and what they had advised her to do. It was a tough talk but we had it. I drove over to see her for the weekend and knew when I left Sunday I would be back on Wednesday, which i did. When I got there Tuesday she was in...
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