Good Ol' Nut Sack Roll

Yes hos it's that time again.
Every TWO years I have to trot my fat ass down to the local legal molestation facility.
It's requires we have a medical evaluation which includes my least favorite thing ever. The fondling of my ball sack.
Now some of you may say that things could be worse.
#9 can go in to horrific detail about the twat doctor and the unspeakable acts bestowed on a woman during an exam.
But, I can one up her, women don't have a prostate. and nothing could possibly be worse than an ugly brown index finger.
TOUCHE'
Anyho, I've yet to have my prostate checked by an accredited doctor but that is still a few years down the road.
Here's the best part.
I am going to a random facility where I won't know the perp.
Did I say how much I hate this?
Ho, the first thing they do is weigh you, followed by vital signs and then eye, ear, squat test. Yes HO they make you drop it low and bring it back up. I excel at these test.
Up next is the golden pee in a cup, they say this is to check you for diabetes.
Then they lead you back to a private room for the deflowering.
Hernia my ass.
I mean if it was a sexual thing i could deal with it but its A STRANGER???
What kind of HO let's a stranger touch her bits and pieces?
I can vividly remember these painful scars.
The worst?
The last one, a big ol' fat queen. Bitch wasn't even a doctor either. Pfft.
Before that a young female doctor, before that an older black woman in Oklahoma.
Etc etc.
Bill on the other hand has no problems with any of it. Bastard.
Oh well!
Ok hos scrub'em good and a maybe a dash of powder to keep em' fresh.
Cough cough.

Comments

the dogs' mother said…
Dear lord, ain't medical stuff fun? Actually I kind of feel sorry for some of these folks. This is what greets you every, single day?? ak!!
September 22, 2011 at 5:24 PM
mrs.missalaineus said…
d.o.t. physical time.....

xxalainaxx
September 22, 2011 at 5:36 PM
Mr.Mischief said…
After my ulcer accident where an artery burst in my intestines, I had to get a finger up the bum to check for blood in my stool...It was the same doctor I'd had since I was ten...in the middle of the "procedure", I said "well THIS is awkward"...doctor said "why is that?"...."because here we are, your finger is a couple knuckles deep in my ass, and I didn't bring you any flowers..hell, I don't even know your first name!"...word to the wise, DON'T make your doctor laugh while he has an appendage where it normally isn't going to be....
September 22, 2011 at 6:12 PM
Mistress Maddie said…
Well honey do go and enjoy a good ole ball roll for me will ya???LOL! I can't believe Auntie Flame hasn't commented to this yet!!! And just to think, all these years, all these guys I meet in bars, told me they were doctors and they needed to check my kibbles and bits. Turns out they weren't doctors at all!
September 22, 2011 at 6:53 PM
false said…
i almost cant read your post because of your grammar. I just don't understand the "ho" thing
September 23, 2011 at 1:54 AM
Miss Ginger Grant said…
Cry me a river, bitch! Wait till your first colonoscopy!!
September 23, 2011 at 10:41 AM
David Dust said…
Sounds like "date night" to me. Sign me up!!

XOXOXOXOXOXO
September 23, 2011 at 11:34 AM
Joy said…
Funny, Mr. Mischief! Yes, all kinds of atrocities connected with medical procedures and tests! Ugh!!!!
September 23, 2011 at 3:29 PM
Miss Ginger Grant said…
If you don't know what a "ho" is, you ain't sposta be readin' this blog!
September 23, 2011 at 5:46 PM
#9 said…
Can't understand your grammar? Hey ho sounds perfectly good to me! Who the hell is no?
September 23, 2011 at 5:46 PM
the dogs' mother said…
I finally figured out Po-Po...
September 23, 2011 at 5:51 PM
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