my confessional.

Well since the end is near I will confess to an issue that's always haunted me, and I've been told by some that know about jeebus, nothing will get you better seats in da house of gawd than confessin'
Anyho. Back in 1988 I worked at a new circuit city electronic store that popped up in Texas. Now back in this time Tug was a hot mess. I was just trying to find my place in the world of crazy.
My younger sis had loaned me a car that my dad had loaned to her in turn I loaned out to this hawt piece of ass, who wrecked it. Totaled. Complete loss.
Now if you knew me then, you knew that I would just completely ignore anything I fucked up.
So even though the car had full coverage, tug went on about his madness not telling anyone what happened. I just knew it would go away, hell I was 300 miles away from my family they would never figure it out. Hell I would just leave it in the police pound. NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND IT THERE!

Two weeks later, while in a very important job meeting with all employees present I was paged for an emergency phone call
What could it be? Was someone sick?
The only phone I was allowed to use was in the room with everyone watching and waiting.
When I answered it, immediately I knew the emergency.
My Dad and Sister both were on the line.
They were pissed. The screaming they both did could be heard by everyone, thank gawd they couldn't understand what was being said.
I began to cry and sob. This caused all my coworkers to huddle around me.
In the final moment of my Dads rant he said he was done helping me ever,and just consider him dead followed by my sister saying she was coming to kill me.
Dial tone.

Hanging up, my coworkers started immediately hugging me. It was at this time my boss asked. What's wrong?
I looked him straight in the crotch and said.
"my dad died"

Hos I felt so bad saying that but damn if it didn't make things immediately better.
My fine ass boss took me in his strong able hands and hugged me tightly. Damn damn
My boss told me to go home with pay and I had the week off too
I told you things were good.
So I spent the next few days reflecting on how much fun it was mourning.
My boss called a few days later and requested Me to come in.
Oh damn, was my gig up? Did Dad call my job?
Walking in to his office my Boss jumped up and rushed to me, another long embrace.
He sat me down and said he wanted to give me something. He handed me an envelope and while opening it he explained that all my coworkers had chipped together some cash to help me till I came back to work.
Oh gawd I knew my reserved VIP seating in hell was guaranteed. Everytime I bought something I felt horrible.
Anyways I quit that bitch because of the pain I felt due to my Dad dying.




Amen

Comments

mrs.missalaineus said…
one of the times my real mom dumped me at her parents i told peeps she was dead, but then the bitch showed up with cupcakes like a week later. ....and so the first of many meetings with the school social worked and a private psychologist begam.

hey. on a serious note all you do for #9 and your awesome niece and nephew makes up for any past transgressions in my mind. i mean what were you, 18- 19? we were all young once. no one should ever hold than against anyone.

xxalainaxx
May 21, 2011 at 5:40 PM
the dogs' mother said…
We have to forgive the kids we once were. :-)
Someday the Spokane police are going to show up and drag me away for the ticket I never paid...
May 21, 2011 at 5:59 PM
Sam said…
Mrs A. I just peed myself from laughter. Thank you.
May 21, 2011 at 6:20 PM
Sam said…
Froggy your secret is safe with me. Stay tuned for my next blind item post. Hehe
May 21, 2011 at 6:32 PM
Miss Ginger Grant said…
SNORT! And I thought I was a fucked up ho! When the HELL are we gonna get together and swap stories in person?! That's a classic!
May 21, 2011 at 8:13 PM
Joy said…
You are so bad!!! I'm so glad I've never done anything like that. I'm also glad I have a bad memory. LOL I wish!!
May 22, 2011 at 1:11 PM
David Dust said…
Oh Sis -

We are both SO going to HELL. I'll save you a spot.

XOXOXOXOXO
May 23, 2011 at 7:31 AM
#9 said…
Hey I'm so proud of you bubba!! I WOULD NEVER be able to talk about the crap I effed up on a blog! And I laughed as hard as I did the first time you told me about it!! But I always remember the ending going something like this, Why did I do that because my boss was F.I.N.E.!!!!
Love ya!
May 24, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Anonymous said…
Did you ever tell your dad that story?
I actually took an intake of breath when I read that and then laughed.
June 16, 2011 at 11:21 AM
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