F#%k Dorothy! I'm staying on the Ground!

Ho's this is what really happened...
After signing off of twitter and putting the last roller in my hair I decided to call it a night. Laying in bed I noticed the wind picking up but I thought nothing of it until I heard the SIREN!
Ho's do I have to tell you the madness that broke out when I realized just why the siren in downtown Troy, Illinois was wailing.
Now. There was no rain. No strong wind. No clouds.
So I prayed, it must be a drill. I turn the tv on; only to feel the truck rock violently and this ho's is when the wheels came off the wagon.
Did I mention that Tug lived some of his childhood in the panhandle of Texas, heart of tornado alley? Trying to decide what to wear when your family will be identifying at the morgue is harder than you think.
Bitches we are going to Oz!
The wind began to switch. The truck to pitch.
And ho's I realized right then I wanted nothing to do with that ho Glenda the so called "good bitch"
This went on long enough for me to put on clean underwear and erase all my top secret "files".
So in true Granny Clampett form I laid on my bunk clutching my beloved iPhone to my chest waiting to be carried home to that big truckstop in the sky only to wake up this morning to see this





Has anyone invented a portable truck friendly storm shelter?
Oh well, the good news? None of us died from boredom after having to sit through the Oscars and ho's that's a post deserving of it's own.
Let's blow ho!

Comments

David Dust said…
{{clicking heels together}}

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home..."

Glad you're alright, Sis.

XOXOXOXO
February 28, 2011 at 7:55 AM
the dogs' mother said…
Good Gravy!!!!
Can you arrange to stay out of Tornado Alley for the season???
February 28, 2011 at 8:46 AM
Joy said…
Oh my goodness! I was so worried. Glad you survived!
February 28, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Ken Riches said…
Glad you are safe.
March 3, 2011 at 6:04 PM
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