Waz Up Ho?
So Here's the deal.
The happy fat bald trucker has been tested every way imaginable this last month. Yes, Ho's It seems that around every turn lurks a speed bump.
Let's begin here. Do you remember the Speedco debacle? You know the one where I had decided to go Judge Judy on the Jiffy Lube of Big Trucks?
Well Ho's you will never, ever guess in a million years just what went down with this little ditty.
A Few days after I blogged about the whole ordeal and for shit and giggles, Tug decided to call Speedco one last time and give them another chance at making it all right in the trucking world.
It was during this conversation with the Man in Charge, it's brought to Tug's attention that his blog is more popular than a young white fat bottom boy headed to prison.
YES! Ho's I've had a secret reader. Mr. Speedco has read my blog.
Our conversation is pleasant and we hammered out a financial agreement to bring this whole ordeal to an end.
Now what I cant talk about is the financial terms.(HAHA sounds like I'm some wheeling dealing ho Huh?) But, I can talk about what was demanded of me.
It seems the re-enactment of events described by me, was found offensive to Speedco and they wanted me to take down my post. YES THEY DID GIRL!!
What did I say?
I said this. "Everything posted was true and I will not change it. period"
If you recall the post didn't really say anything bad about Speedco, it just stated the facts as they were.
Anyho. after signing some legal papers, We have an ending to Betsy BooBoo.
So then we get to the next speed bump. My few readers know I had an accident and recently got Betsy back from the repair facility.
Ho's I'm telling you God is testing me. This truck looked like shit. The workmanship was half ass.
The facility had her for 6 weeks, and you think they would have went over her with a fine tooth comb.
But hell no. Betsy will require another paint job and some other replacement parts.
Brutus. This was the name of the truck we were given as a rental replacement. Ho's this truck was loud, big, and it couldn't pass a fuel stop without leaning towards it. Good Buddies this truck got 4!! F O U R miles per gallon.
Do I have to do my math recap? This truck just about broke our ass.
Tax Time. Enough said?
Finally, yesterday while washing clothes in San Antonio, Bill and I had to throw down and stand up for our President.
Now I don't have to tell you that Texas is full of Rush Limbaugh types and she was washing her clothes yesterday.
This old ass bitch was as racist and prejudice as they come.
The riot went down like this. A little insight about Tug, he can start a conversation up with anyone. Ho's I love to chat with strangers. They all have some crazy ass life story that they are just waiting to share with someone. Just call me the Oprah of the Big Road. Tuprah!
Washing clothes I had become chatty with the attendant, Allison (a 60 something Australian married to a Military man) and this other ho, Linda (a 60 something retired health care worker spending her winter in South Texas)
So here we are just washing and folding our clothes, we all seem to be on the same page of several issues.
Then out of the blue, Linda says "I hate Michelle Obama" and then she back doors it with "I hate Barack Obama, he ain't my President"
WTF?
Bill is coming in from outside to help, and catches these two sentences. Cue the ignorance squad.
Ho's it was like the fourth of July up in that bitch. Bill starts ranting and raving about how GW fucked up the country and we see Linda for what she really is.
She's a proud member of the Klan, NRA, Teabag Party, and a devout follower of Pat Robertson.
My fox news DE-brainwashing mission begins. I back Linda up into a hole between a 50 lb. dryer and the vending machine.
She has now Sybilized (I made this word up) herself, and begun whispering in an evil Linda Blair like voice now.
We begin our exorcism. Linda informs me of a few facts I hadn't known about Barack Obama.
The first is. Barack has only been to church one time since taking office she whispers "He's a Muslim" It's at this time that I inform her that until just recently I had bumped my church attendance record up from the annual Christmas service to a bi annual affair which included Easter.
Then she informs me that Mr. Obama has only spent one night in the White House since taking Office. It seems she feels he has been to busy ripping and running all over the world and should be home at night.
Also, she has a problem with how he runs, it appears she has concluded he flails his arms making him look like a monkey.
Now until then I've remained calm, cool, and collective. Tug is quick to point out her reasons are unfounded and utterly ridiculous.
Her next sentence?
"And the gays are not going to be happy until they destroy the world, like in the Bible"
Ho's it my turn for my head to spin around.
Yes, Ho's I've realized at this point that Linda is doomed and the best thing is for her to gather her clothes and get the hell on.
Leaving the laundry, Allison who has by now become one of my favorite people ever walks with Bill and I to the truck. She makes me feel better.
I know by talking to her that not all people are this way. She hugs Bill and I, says it was nice meeting us and to come back and see her sometime.
Just goes to show you. The world is full of all types.
There you go Ho's my last few weeks.
So, If I've failed to read or comment on your blog I'm sorry. I'm catching up slowly.
Well I've sat here so long it's my turn to drive.
Let's Ride Ho
The happy fat bald trucker has been tested every way imaginable this last month. Yes, Ho's It seems that around every turn lurks a speed bump.
Let's begin here. Do you remember the Speedco debacle? You know the one where I had decided to go Judge Judy on the Jiffy Lube of Big Trucks?
Well Ho's you will never, ever guess in a million years just what went down with this little ditty.
A Few days after I blogged about the whole ordeal and for shit and giggles, Tug decided to call Speedco one last time and give them another chance at making it all right in the trucking world.
It was during this conversation with the Man in Charge, it's brought to Tug's attention that his blog is more popular than a young white fat bottom boy headed to prison.
YES! Ho's I've had a secret reader. Mr. Speedco has read my blog.
Our conversation is pleasant and we hammered out a financial agreement to bring this whole ordeal to an end.
Now what I cant talk about is the financial terms.(HAHA sounds like I'm some wheeling dealing ho Huh?) But, I can talk about what was demanded of me.
It seems the re-enactment of events described by me, was found offensive to Speedco and they wanted me to take down my post. YES THEY DID GIRL!!
What did I say?
I said this. "Everything posted was true and I will not change it. period"
If you recall the post didn't really say anything bad about Speedco, it just stated the facts as they were.
Anyho. after signing some legal papers, We have an ending to Betsy BooBoo.
So then we get to the next speed bump. My few readers know I had an accident and recently got Betsy back from the repair facility.
Ho's I'm telling you God is testing me. This truck looked like shit. The workmanship was half ass.
The facility had her for 6 weeks, and you think they would have went over her with a fine tooth comb.
But hell no. Betsy will require another paint job and some other replacement parts.
Brutus. This was the name of the truck we were given as a rental replacement. Ho's this truck was loud, big, and it couldn't pass a fuel stop without leaning towards it. Good Buddies this truck got 4!! F O U R miles per gallon.
Do I have to do my math recap? This truck just about broke our ass.
Tax Time. Enough said?
Finally, yesterday while washing clothes in San Antonio, Bill and I had to throw down and stand up for our President.
Now I don't have to tell you that Texas is full of Rush Limbaugh types and she was washing her clothes yesterday.
This old ass bitch was as racist and prejudice as they come.
The riot went down like this. A little insight about Tug, he can start a conversation up with anyone. Ho's I love to chat with strangers. They all have some crazy ass life story that they are just waiting to share with someone. Just call me the Oprah of the Big Road. Tuprah!
Washing clothes I had become chatty with the attendant, Allison (a 60 something Australian married to a Military man) and this other ho, Linda (a 60 something retired health care worker spending her winter in South Texas)
So here we are just washing and folding our clothes, we all seem to be on the same page of several issues.
Then out of the blue, Linda says "I hate Michelle Obama" and then she back doors it with "I hate Barack Obama, he ain't my President"
WTF?
Bill is coming in from outside to help, and catches these two sentences. Cue the ignorance squad.
Ho's it was like the fourth of July up in that bitch. Bill starts ranting and raving about how GW fucked up the country and we see Linda for what she really is.
She's a proud member of the Klan, NRA, Teabag Party, and a devout follower of Pat Robertson.
My fox news DE-brainwashing mission begins. I back Linda up into a hole between a 50 lb. dryer and the vending machine.
She has now Sybilized (I made this word up) herself, and begun whispering in an evil Linda Blair like voice now.
We begin our exorcism. Linda informs me of a few facts I hadn't known about Barack Obama.
The first is. Barack has only been to church one time since taking office she whispers "He's a Muslim" It's at this time that I inform her that until just recently I had bumped my church attendance record up from the annual Christmas service to a bi annual affair which included Easter.
Then she informs me that Mr. Obama has only spent one night in the White House since taking Office. It seems she feels he has been to busy ripping and running all over the world and should be home at night.
Also, she has a problem with how he runs, it appears she has concluded he flails his arms making him look like a monkey.
Now until then I've remained calm, cool, and collective. Tug is quick to point out her reasons are unfounded and utterly ridiculous.
Her next sentence?
"And the gays are not going to be happy until they destroy the world, like in the Bible"
Ho's it my turn for my head to spin around.
Yes, Ho's I've realized at this point that Linda is doomed and the best thing is for her to gather her clothes and get the hell on.
Leaving the laundry, Allison who has by now become one of my favorite people ever walks with Bill and I to the truck. She makes me feel better.
I know by talking to her that not all people are this way. She hugs Bill and I, says it was nice meeting us and to come back and see her sometime.
Just goes to show you. The world is full of all types.
There you go Ho's my last few weeks.
So, If I've failed to read or comment on your blog I'm sorry. I'm catching up slowly.
Well I've sat here so long it's my turn to drive.
Let's Ride Ho
Comments
XOXOXOX
give 'em hell, tug! i cant believe they wanted you to take down your post, and if i remember correctly, as you did not say anything slanderous, there is absolutely nothing they can do. it's always nice when big business does what they should do when they have fucked up. it's not nice that they have to be shamed into doing the right thing.
here's to feb and it being a better( if not at least shorter) month!
xxalainaxx
First of all - this here is the funniest shit I've read in a long time. You are one crazy Ho.
I would like to comment on the first part of your post - about your "Secret Reader".
"Everything posted was true and I will not change it. period". JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY UP IN THIS BITCH!!!!!! Way to go, Sis!!!!
FYI: I would have deleted, changed, and or HUMPED that blog post for an extra ten bucks and an Arby's coupon. I applaud you for your integrity.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXO