Crackhead Alert

yes it's true I've inherited a crackhead. Bill's 50 year old sister Gwen, is a devout crack smoker.
Through the last 15 some odd years I've learned so much about other drug cultures that I would have never, ever known. Thanks to Bill's siblings.
Now before you think I 'm getting all high and mighty I'll set the record straight. Yes my family tree does have broken, and burnt up branches everywhere. But, Crackheads we have none.
Did I tell you she is a hoot
The best part is that she is in denial. She smokes Primo's. To catch all you non-drug users up to par, I'll explain it to you as it was explained to me.
A primo is Crack crushed up and sprinkled so gently on top of a joint before rolling. The best part about this is that Gwen has thoroughly convinced herself that, this dilutes the crack therefore rendering it null and void. WTF.
Wait it gets even better. She has the HUGE Bible on her coffee table, and it's not just for show honey. It's for her to read, and read she does when she smokes her Primo's.
Let me paint you a picture.
Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son meets Fire Marshall Bill from In Living Color.
Ugly ain't it.
Anyho. You immediately know when she calls if she's in the word of God. Girls, let me tell you this Crackheads are some of the funniest people ever.
Thank God I only see her once every 10 years. Welcome to my Inlaws, or as I refer to them
as, Outlaws
Grab a seat, and let's talk..

Comments

Joy said…
Well good. That wasn't my experience with one I knew and loved. Broke my heart.
June 15, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Dan said…
i feel sorry for Luis because my family if shit full of crazies.
June 15, 2009 at 6:18 PM
the dogs' mother said…
Cousin who jumped into the 60s drug culture with both feet. Had been a gifted artist at UW. When we had family reunions someone would cruise skid row in Seattle, pick him up, wash him up and he'd sit in the corner with a constant supply of beer. Scared us kids to death!
June 15, 2009 at 7:18 PM
Bob said…
"Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son meets Fire Marshall Bill from In Living Color."

That line sacred the bejeesus outta me!
June 16, 2009 at 5:16 AM
DKG aka Scrappy Doo said…
At least this side of the family is normal
HA!
June 16, 2009 at 6:33 AM
Unknown said…
Wow, funny, and educational all at the same time.
June 16, 2009 at 7:28 AM
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