My butt hurts...
Well Ho's, It's official. This qualifies me as a powerbottom.
Early Tuesday morning, Betsy had the misfortune of coughing, and dying on a lonely stretch of Interstate 40.
Ho's that was just the beginning of the ass-rape. Something you should all know when you breakdown. Any, and everyone is going to take advantage of you. The list of people that line up to break you off is unreal.
Here's the deal.
Bill and I pull in to the Tyson Beef Plant in Amarillo, TX at 0115 a.m. to pick up ground cow for all you Double Cheeseburger lovers. Destination: Emporia, KS 1400 p.m.
Everything seems fine. Out on the stretch of highway, I put Betsy in 18th gear and roll on. We are passin up the slow trucks, and lookin good doin it.
Bill settles down for a nap, he knows at sun up it's his turn to drive.
Gurlllllll, Out of nowhere all Hell breaks loose. Alarms go off, and red lights on the dash start flashin. Betsy lets loose, and the rest is history.
There we sit Mile Marker 98 Interstate 40 Eastbound side, just far enough off the road that when trucks pass I can run my fingers down their trailers.
After inspecting the truck it seems we have a major air leak coming from the valve off the air compressor.
Quick lesson on trucking here ho's, without Air your truck will not move. No it doesn't run on air, it just needs air to release the brakes so they will roll.
Tugboat thumbs thru her trusty blackberry looking for the Truck dealerships toll free number. Aha there it is. Bad news, no roadside available. Good news. Wrecker is on the way.
Things go down hill from here.
Two long hours later, up pulls Festus Funk and the ugliest woman ever seen to man. Know wonder he only brings her out at night. He probably needed a rodeo clown to get her into the truck.
Anyho. I shit you not the first thing he ask me is.
"What happened? It just quit running" OMG is the some kind of punkd shit?
So Festus hooks up my truck, and trailer. Now while he's doing this I awake from my daze to see that he is driving a Daycab, that only has room for three people. Let's do the math. Bill,Tugboat,Taylor,Festus, and Maxine.
How the hell are we going to ride? Surely he knows we are not legally allowed to ride in a towed vehicle right? Well Bill's loss at the coin toss secures him a seat up front. Taylor, and I will take our chances in Betsy, we will hide in the sleeper.
4 hrs later, and we arrive at the dealership. Festus then greases up, and hands me my bill.
$985.25
To be honest I knew it would be bad. Look, yours truly remembers last summer paying way over $1500.00 to fill the truck up every other day. So I'm not shocked.
The best part of breaking down? HELLOO Hilton, and separate beds. YES, I LOVE SLEEPING ALONE!!!! I've had all the snuggling I want ever.
Call from the dealership, O.k. Betsy is back. She had a leak on the air check valve coming off the compressor. We can pick her up in the morning.
We pack up and head to the dealership, once again I bend over and take it like the Big Bad trucker that I am. It's not as bad as the tow, but I'm hoping next time Bill will take one for the team. But for now, we are ready for takeoff.
Time to go, somebody has to keep the economy going.
Lets Ride Ho
Early Tuesday morning, Betsy had the misfortune of coughing, and dying on a lonely stretch of Interstate 40.
Ho's that was just the beginning of the ass-rape. Something you should all know when you breakdown. Any, and everyone is going to take advantage of you. The list of people that line up to break you off is unreal.
Here's the deal.
Bill and I pull in to the Tyson Beef Plant in Amarillo, TX at 0115 a.m. to pick up ground cow for all you Double Cheeseburger lovers. Destination: Emporia, KS 1400 p.m.
Everything seems fine. Out on the stretch of highway, I put Betsy in 18th gear and roll on. We are passin up the slow trucks, and lookin good doin it.
Bill settles down for a nap, he knows at sun up it's his turn to drive.
Gurlllllll, Out of nowhere all Hell breaks loose. Alarms go off, and red lights on the dash start flashin. Betsy lets loose, and the rest is history.
There we sit Mile Marker 98 Interstate 40 Eastbound side, just far enough off the road that when trucks pass I can run my fingers down their trailers.
After inspecting the truck it seems we have a major air leak coming from the valve off the air compressor.
Quick lesson on trucking here ho's, without Air your truck will not move. No it doesn't run on air, it just needs air to release the brakes so they will roll.
Tugboat thumbs thru her trusty blackberry looking for the Truck dealerships toll free number. Aha there it is. Bad news, no roadside available. Good news. Wrecker is on the way.
Things go down hill from here.
Two long hours later, up pulls Festus Funk and the ugliest woman ever seen to man. Know wonder he only brings her out at night. He probably needed a rodeo clown to get her into the truck.
Anyho. I shit you not the first thing he ask me is.
"What happened? It just quit running" OMG is the some kind of punkd shit?
So Festus hooks up my truck, and trailer. Now while he's doing this I awake from my daze to see that he is driving a Daycab, that only has room for three people. Let's do the math. Bill,Tugboat,Taylor,Festus, and Maxine.
How the hell are we going to ride? Surely he knows we are not legally allowed to ride in a towed vehicle right? Well Bill's loss at the coin toss secures him a seat up front. Taylor, and I will take our chances in Betsy, we will hide in the sleeper.
4 hrs later, and we arrive at the dealership. Festus then greases up, and hands me my bill.
$985.25
To be honest I knew it would be bad. Look, yours truly remembers last summer paying way over $1500.00 to fill the truck up every other day. So I'm not shocked.
The best part of breaking down? HELLOO Hilton, and separate beds. YES, I LOVE SLEEPING ALONE!!!! I've had all the snuggling I want ever.
Call from the dealership, O.k. Betsy is back. She had a leak on the air check valve coming off the compressor. We can pick her up in the morning.
We pack up and head to the dealership, once again I bend over and take it like the Big Bad trucker that I am. It's not as bad as the tow, but I'm hoping next time Bill will take one for the team. But for now, we are ready for takeoff.
Time to go, somebody has to keep the economy going.
Lets Ride Ho
Comments
to try and butch me up one summer he took one of his trucks out of service and we took it apart and put it back together. Didnt work!
You seem to get a lot of practice power-bottoming out on the road. You might have to change your name to "Lincoln Tunnel" :)
XOXOXOXOXO
my wallet is hurting for you!
xxalainaxx
Well of course I am late commenting.
Give me a break damnitt I am old!!!! AND CANOTT spell
anyway,
Glad yall are OK
Love and miss ya
HOSS
you need to be driving a Volvo!
I loves me some Swedes!