Potty 101



Does anyone else besides me have a problem with taking a shit in a public bathroom? You know since I started driving a Truck over 10 years ago, I had to face one of my worst fear. Taking a Shit in a public bathroom. Several times some of these very things have happened to me, which in turn caused me to clamp it off, followed by some type of therapy
Now, since I've come to realize that there is never the perfect opportunity to take a shit, here are some of the things that I have had to stare down face to face. Here are my reasons for not being productive while needing to drop the kids off at the lake.
A door that will not lock, or shut. Because you know as well as I do, someone will always push it open. (So that's where women hang there purse when there's no hook, very inventive.)
An automatic disqualification, and a no fly zone, the dreaded no door on stall. GASP.
The seesaw toilet, one that isn't bolted securely to the floor. Test your balancing skills.
No seat, FYI hypothermia sets in as little as 5 minutes.
No paper, this includes paper towels, newspaper, leaves, etc ..
Holes big enough in the walls to pass things back and forth. "How you doin?".
Fellow occupants that refuse to flush. Enter at your own risk
Remnants that have been left behind, this includes on the inside walls, and bowl itself. How brave are you really?
Occupants that must carry a conversation on the phone while in the process, or for the Mom's and Dad's that must bring a small child with them, that have just recently learned to speak in complete sentences. Now this could work in your favor, draws attention away from you.
Last but not least, Water on the floor. This requires a two footed landing, before dismount.
Now maybe I have missed a few things, like taking a shit, and the toilet wont work, after you successfully flushed before you sat down or, a toilet that clogs itself while exiting.
Just remember if things go bad, Don't ever look back. Just keep moving.
Let it be known number Nine informed me on one special occasion, she did hang her purse around her neck, balanced, and hovered, while using one hand to hold the door shut. True talent indeed.
So that you wont feel left out completely, this small observation.
Do you know how many Men don't wash there hands after taking shit?
The number will astound you.
Enjoy.

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