THE AWARD WINNING! "God, You Aint goin to believe this"

Jennifer Hudson Pays Tribute to Whitney Houston at Grammys: Watch - Grammys | Billboard.com

2012-02-12T21:57:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Hudson Pays Tribute to Whitney Houston at Grammys: Watch - Grammys Billboard.com

Lost

2012-02-12T13:02:00.001-08:00

Why we loved her. I feel her greatest live performance. Ever.

Whitney Houston RIP

2012-02-11T17:16:00.001-08:00

In Memoriam

2012-02-04T11:25:00.001-08:00

Growing up in the ugly west Texas town of Lubbock, Texas, where the musical forefathers included Buddy Holly, Mac Davis, and Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks, Tug was camped out every Saturday waiting on one particular show.
Yes HOS! I was a dancing machine. Just ask #9.
Don Cornelius put the boogie in my dance step and I was never the same PS. The long haired Asian HO was my gurl.
Wurk it Hos. Get off your ass and dance with me.
RIP.
So as I do my own personal line dance in the truck stop shower to the Jackson 5 hit song, Dancing machine.
I wish you LOVE, PEACE AND SOOOOUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Kick. Step. Kick.

Movie Review

2012-02-03T17:54:00.001-08:00

FYI! The movie "Iron Lady" is an awful sequel to "Iron Man". That. Is. All.

La Nina and drag queens.

2012-02-02T08:10:00.001-08:00

Hey ho's it your friendly trucker Tug.

The last week or so Tug has been cranky, sad and Moody. Well after much thought and speaking with fellow HO, Joy. I've come to the the diagnosis that a HO named La Nina is to blame.
How? As far back as Tug can remember, at least a year, tug gets really crazy during spring type weather. Yes Ho's I do. It just fucks with my emotions and everything.
Anyho, you say it's not spring? Puhlease!! It was 71 degrees in Kansas City yesterday and the same in Dallas too! The last week has been all above the 50's..
It will pass so don't fret.
Anyone else out there get the same way or am I "special"

About the drag queens and Rupaul's show of circus performers.
One look at the contestant Sharon Needles and Ho's I was out.
That HO reminds me of the wicked witch of the west and all she lacks is a bicycle.
My first impression was, oh my fucking gawd Pennywise does exist!!
I. Can. Not. Watch.
That bitch doesn't scare you?? I would rather spend the night in the jail kitchen with Jeffrey Dahlmer.
I won't even post a picture. All I need is nightmares.
Ok Ho's I'm out.
California or bust. Literally.
Love and diesel xoxox
Tug!!

fly with me HO!!

2012-02-01T16:06:00.001-08:00

Prepare for takeoff HO!!

I love Siri

2012-01-29T21:18:00.001-08:00

National Kazoo Day!!

2012-01-28T17:15:00.001-08:00

Hey Hos!!! Well let's see.
It's national kazoo day and believe it or not I've never owned or played one.

Plus today is Maxine's first birthday!!!
Here's the birthday day gal herself.

Besides Max getting older, Tug made another notch on the tree of life!! One more year closer to 50. Jeesh. Time flies. I've spent most of the day crying wondering why the hell Momma tug had to die. Fucking sucks. After all these years i still think of her. She was my favorite gal in the whole wide world. Anyho
There it is.
Let's ride HO!!!

Amazing Crap

2012-01-27T01:18:00.001-08:00

In keeping with my search for gospel singers with no talent, no contest would be complete without my next performer.
Now in being fair and unbalanced, please make sure skip to the last 20 seconds to witness the vocalize styling of truly the next American Gospel superstar.
P.S. this rendition could not wake the dead
Because homie is singing to one.

uh oh. busted.

2012-01-26T18:01:00.001-08:00

Yes I must admit I have a touch of this.

OH MY F*&king EARS

2012-01-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

I bet not one of you can watch Mary finish this whole song. For shit and giggles at the 3:04 mark he does attempt to take a sip of water for the high notes.
Talk about putting two cats in a bag and shaking the shit out of it.

I love mushrooms

2012-01-24T12:50:00.001-08:00

I love mushrooms!!!

Happy Pie Day HO

2012-01-23T08:02:00.001-08:00

Ho, Are you going to have a slice???
What's your favorite pie?????
Anyone??
Well I've always been quite fond of coconut, but as I've gotten more decrepit I've started leaning towards Butter Chess or aka buttermilk pie. .

My Hero

2012-01-22T21:27:00.001-08:00

This is my new hero.

I've got a secret.

2012-01-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Since it's Saturday I figured I would clear my soul and share a dark secret with my two readers.

Well here it goes. I'm so ashamed.
Tug has a tendency to fall in love with horrid horrible rap song with terrible terrible lyrics and overtures.
There I said it.
It's like a drug. I mean I hear it and something just clicks in my brain and suddenly I'm singing it going through Wally world or the truckstop.
Now, in my defense. It's not every damn song just one about every six months.
some of my past addictions include.
Black and Yellow by Wiz Kahlifa then there was No Hands by Waka Flaka Flame, no I'm not making these names up.
Finally there is my song de jour.

Throw it up by Yelawolf.
Gawd I love this song so much. I sing it all the time including the hook by Gangsta Boo not to mention the ending by Eminem. Right when you think the song is going to end it gets better. It's like crack.

There's more though.
I have recruited others to listen and they too are addicted to these songs.. I dare not mention their name. It would be scandal.
Anyho, here for you is the song de jour. Please know this. This song is NSFW and the opening lines will be filth. so make sure you have your headphones on.

O.D

2012-01-19T13:01:00.001-08:00

No words

New Hampshire. Live free or Die

2012-01-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

Made it to New Hampshire. We reload to Northern California, truck load of Lindt chocolates. We had a nice easy run with no problems.
Coming in from the West was relatively easy with no winter conditions and excellent driving conditions. But, this is all about to change. from what I hear a huge winter storm was racing across the Midwest.
Which in turn makes this whole ride back west suck.
Why? well the chocolate loads are light light light, under 10k pounds, which makes for difficult driving.

You see ho's in the winter you want to be heavy heavy heavy. My preference is as close to the legal limit of 80k as possible, this makes for less slipping and sliding with better traction.
I've said time and time again how cheap this company is and it comes shining through with the tires that our truck is equipped with, yes ho's.
99% of the industry run traction tires on the drives of their units year round but in an effort for better fuel mileage. yes bitches I'm talking pennies here.
My company run low resistance tires on all wheel positions. Yep, they have zero traction.
I've spun the wheels in light snow, a first with 80k on.
This top tire shows a traction type groove, the below are what we run.

The tread design make a huge difference. Personally the risk of something happening to the drivers is not worth the money saved. In some of the Pacific Northwestern states it is required to run traction tires during the winter months if you have no chains. Unfortunately we have chains, and I wouldn't have a clue how to put the son of a bitches on. Look if you need chains on your tires to go somewhere my advice is to camp out in the truck stop until spring. Some states get crazy with that ol" chain law too. Look I understand some loads have to get there but a day or two wait isn't going to hurt anything.

If they want it that bad they can air mail the shit.

I've often wondered if this place gives a shit about our safety. Anyho, I have a safety plan in effect for any bad weather. Yes I park this bitch first sign of trouble.

WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO DO MORE!!!

2012-01-16T15:17:00.001-08:00

This news story happened while Bill and I were in Sacramento.
Bob, at ISBL does numerous post about suicides due to bullying.
NUMEROUS!!!!
It's sickening that a bigger push with social and news media isn't being done.
My guess is that drunk drivers, explicit music and video games, police deaths, and whoever Kim Whoredashian is fucking is more important than a child's life.
I've made sure #9 has included this subject in her household discussions but she's always several steps ahead of me.
I can't even talk about this subject without yelling and screaming.
SOMEONE MUST STAND THE FUCK UP!!!

Granite Bay teen who committed suicide was bullied for being gay chubert@sacbee.com (Cynthia Hubert)

From the Sacramento Bee:

On a blustery Saturday morning inside a Granite Bay church, nearly 1,000 people gathered to say goodbye to Jeffrey Fehr. Men and women in dark clothing filled every seat and stood along a back wall. Teenagers wearing shirts with Jeffrey's image clustered in groups, crying and leaning into one another for support.

At a reception that followed his funeral, many spoke of a gifted young athlete who was funny, kind and compassionate. They called Jeffrey an inspiration and a mentor.

For Jeffrey's parents, Pati and Steve Fehr, the scene was stunning.

"So many people gained strength from Jeff," his father said, looking out at the crowd. "The unfortunate part is that Jeff didn't realize it."

In the early hours of New Year's Day, Jeffrey hanged himself in the front entrance to his family's home in a tony Granite Bay neighborhood. He was 18 years old.

Since that day, his parents have searched their hearts and minds for answers. Though Jeffrey, who was gay, had recently ended a relationship and had been treated for depression, they believe something more insidious put him on the path toward suicide. They are convinced that a lifetime of taunts and bullying contributed to his decision to take his own life.

"We will second-guess ourselves forever," his father said. "But we do know that for years and years, people knocked him down for being different. It damaged him. It wore on him. He could never fully believe how wonderful he was, and how many people loved him."

Despite an increase in positive images of gay people in the mass media, from contestants in reality programs like "Project Runway" to sitcoms like "Modern Family," bullying of gay youths remains rampant. Nine out of 10 gay and bisexual students report harassment at school, according to the Trevor Project, a crisis intervention group. Gay and bisexual youths are four times more likely than their heterosexual peers to try suicide.

"Society has come a long way toward reducing hatred and discrimination against gays," said Israel Kalman, a school psychologist in New York and director of the national Bullies2Buddies program. "But it will be awhile, if ever, before it disappears entirely."

Alone in a crowd

Jeffrey Fehr and his two older brothers, Tyler and Ryan, spent their childhood in a community of high-end homes and high expectations.
Tyler and Ryan starred on their sports teams starting in elementary school, but Jeffrey was more interested in dancing and jumping on the trampoline. While other boys played baseball at school recess, he climbed on the jungle gym with girls.

As early as the third grade, Jeffrey was the target of taunts, family members said. He had few friends and felt comfortable only when he was at home or on vacation with people he trusted.

"He would come home from school and cry," said Tyler, 21. "He would say he felt alone, that he wasn't accepted for the things he liked."

It was in the sixth grade that people first started calling him "fag," the Fehrs said.

"It broke my heart that he was abused that way," his mother said. They talked about how they could fix things.

Jeffrey's parents sent him to counseling, tried to build his confidence and encouraged him to pursue his interests, including art, theater and dance. Later, they got him treatment for depression.

His parents hoped high school would be a more welcoming place for Jeffrey. But his first two years were "pure hell," they said.

"He would literally hang his head when I dropped him off," his father recalled. "It was just awful for him."

One day as Jeffrey walked through the cafeteria, a student upended his lunch tray and laughed as others joined in, he told his parents. Another time, someone painted the driveway next to the Fehr home with gay slurs directed at Jeffrey. Day after day, he endured calls of "you're so gay" and similar taunts.

Granite Bay High principal Michael McGuire acknowledged that Jeffrey "had some struggles" during his freshman and sophomore years, and said a counselor and assistant principal worked to help resolve them.

"Although there were some issues with other students, none rose to the level where school discipline was involved," McGuire said.

Bullies rarely respond to disciplinary tactics anyway, said Kalman, who travels the country teaching educators and parents about the problem. The focus, he said, should be on the youngster who is being bullied.

"I teach the practice of the Golden Rule," Kalman said. "When you're bullied, don't get upset about it. Treat the bully like a friend, like you want to be treated, and the bullying will stop."

Finding acceptance

Jeffrey seemed to adopt that approach late in his sophomore year. He told his family he was gay, and came out on Facebook. "We told him that it was OK, that we loved him unconditionally," his mother said. "We were proud of him for embracing who he was."
After that, Jeffrey seemed to "blossom," she said. He joined the high school cheer squad, whose members previously had been all girls, and found a community that adored him. As a senior he was the team's captain, and mastered handsprings, backflips and other feats. Later he joined an elite competitive team.

"Cheer gave him a lot of acceptance, because it was something he was really good at," said fellow squad member Shayla Chock, 16.

Jeffrey's body grew strong and muscular, and at 6 feet, 3 inches tall he towered over his teammates. He flashed a brilliant smile and had a posse of close friends, mostly girls a couple of years younger than he.

"Jeff loved everyone with everything he had," said his pal Carly Flajole, also 16. "He always wanted everyone to get along, without drama. He was a leader."

Bri Larson, who coached him for four years, said Jeffrey was a "phenomenal" performer known for his skills, vibrant personality and ability to motivate.

"These are qualities that you just can't teach," she said. "Jeff was special. He was like a son to me."

Jeffrey had many young fans, but the taunting never quite went away. Friends recalled ugly words shouted in student sections at games, and adults who said they wouldn't let their sons do something as "girly" as cheering. If others whispered about Jeffrey's sexuality or teased him, the girls told them to stop.

"He seemed to brush everything off," said his friend Megan Hurley, 16. "None of the comments made him want to change who he was. From the outside at least, it seemed like nothing penetrated him."

Lingering questions

But inside, said family and friends, the years of harsh words may have created a wound that never quite healed.
Jeffrey's downward spiral seemed to begin after he graduated from Granite Bay High last year and started college. He was unsure about his academic path and his future, his parents said, and talked with anger about the "suburban fishbowl" that expected him to "conform to society's standards." He never complained about bullying at college, but he made few new friends.

Life outside of school had him on an emotional roller coaster. His elite coed Power Cheerleading team earned a trip to a world competition, but Jeffrey wondered aloud whether he was good enough to make a top college squad. He was smitten with a young man in Southern California, but the relationship was on and off.

Still, in the weeks before he died, nothing about Jeffrey's behavior rang alarm bells to friends or family members. He seemed relaxed on Christmas Eve, when his friend Shayla dropped by with a homemade gingerbread cookie. He was thrilled with the new iPhone his parents bought him.

Three days after Christmas, against the wishes of his mom and dad, Jeffrey drove to Los Angeles to see his love interest. He took off early on a Wednesday and called his parents later that day. He told them all was well.

On Friday, Dec. 30, his parents got a call from Jeffrey as they were driving with Tyler to Palm Desert for the holiday weekend. He told them his relationship was ending but "we are going to be good friends," his mother recalled. "He wasn't happy, but he was accepting."

He was heading back to Granite Bay.

Jeffrey's parents urged him to get the family dog, Riley, from the kennel, and make plans with friends. But he turned down an offer to visit the mall Saturday and never picked up the dog. He was alone on New Year's Eve.

Shortly after midnight, his mother called to wish him a Happy New Year and got no answer. "I didn't think anything of it. I figured he'd found something to do," she said.

At 10 a.m., she texted him.

"Are you awake yet?"

No response.

For the next hour, the family called and texted over and over. His brother checked Jeff's Facebook page. The last entry was at 10 p.m. the previous night.

"New Years is stupid," it said.

As the minutes ticked by and messages went unanswered, his parents began to panic. Around noon, Pati Fehr called Shayla. Could she and her mom swing by the house to check on Jeffrey?

The girl's mother found him hanging from a rope in the home's front entrance. Sheriff's deputies said he probably died around 5 a.m. that day.

Now his loved ones are left to try to make sense of what happened, and to wonder whether the abuses he suffered indirectly led to his death.

"We have so many questions that will never have answers," his father said. "But I do know that something was taken away from Jeff because of all those years he was bullied. He carried around that pain."

Perhaps his breakup was "the last straw" for a young man who never felt fully accepted, his friends and family members said.

Last Saturday, inside a reception hall with his son's image smiling from video screens, Steve Fehr fought tears as he spoke. He asked those gathered to "embrace diversity, be tolerant and do not bully."

"A bully might say something and forget about it in 10 seconds," he said. "But people like Jeff never forget those words."

Flo is my all time favorite HO.

2012-01-16T14:22:00.001-08:00

F. I. R. E. beyotches this is how it's done!
If your not a fan of Florence + the machine give this a listen.

Two for Monday

2012-01-16T08:36:00.001-08:00

I'm loving Pinterest Hos. They have some funny shit. Plus you don't have to be nobody's friend.

There's a new HO on the stroll

2012-01-16T08:14:00.001-08:00

Well Hos there is a new ho, at least to me, hangin around and she calls herself pinterest.
I received an invite and logged on.
It seems interesting enough. Photos and things people around the globe find intriguing or should I say interesting. Lol
It allows you start your very own Facebook with no dialogue. I hate tumblr and don't understand it maybe Sis can one day put in lo terms when I visit.
I lifted this photo from it.
Check it out.
I think Froggy will really like it.
Thank gawd it has no games. That is all I'm going to say about that.

Jeebus would be proud

2012-01-14T21:15:00.001-08:00

For those of you who haven't saw this classic moment in television. I give you
Tebowie

My least favorite things

2012-01-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Ho's I hate New Mexico. There is not one redeeming thing about it. The sign coming in to the state says the Land of Enchantment which I've always proclaimed should read the Land of Disenchantment.. Sure it has some mountains for skiing, (go to Colorado it's right up the street) and tons on Indian casinos (which suck too) but besides that. NADA nothing zilch and if I'm not mistaken someone once agreed with me on that. I think it was Miss Ginger.
They don't take care of the highways, and the rest areas are the filthiest nationwide.
Thank you.
Since I'm on things that I hate, let me add this to the list
Creepy crazy filthy truck drivers.
TRUST me ho's they are out here and they creep the hell out of me. I had one guy staring at me today at the truck stop and I told Bill he looked at me like he had a stick for my head to hang on.

The last couple of days Tug has been fighting a sinus/cold ailment. My head is like a damn balloon ready to explode.
Usually I take a sudafed and drink lots of fluid plus us my saline nasal spray.
Anyho, I didn't have any sudafed and because meth users abused the shit you have to get it from the drug counter or pharmacist. Good lord do you know what type of shake down you go throw to get sudafed?
Now they do sell the sudafed PE shit over the counter but trust me ho's and a good pharmacist will tell you this too, that crap doesn't work nearly as affective.
Well Bill, my HUSBAND, convinced me to take a sip of NYQUIL.
That shit right there should be outlawed first. After two big swigs.
I remember just a few things.
One, I remember fighting off a sexual advance from a stranger that turned out to be Bill.
He said that I shouldn't ever drink that stuff again. I am apparently an angry drunk.
Two, I do remember having to go pee. Now seeing that I don't pee in a jug like most truckers this task required Tug to stumble across the truck stop parking lot at 3 a.m.
Thank Gawd I made it back to the right truck.
and last but not least I still woke up with a dry mouth and sore throat.
The worse side effect was the nightmares and dreams. Good Lord never again. I seen my dead Mother twice, survived a horrific fiery crash and last but not least on one of my drives during lala land I apparently had no brakes.
Today I bought a 48 pack of sudafed. I'm better already.

There you go. A small list of things I dont like.
Let's Ride Hos

Grandpa Speaks!

2012-01-06T16:34:00.001-08:00

He got it right the first time. Tell us what's really on your mind John McCain? Epic epic epic

My trip to Bountiful

2012-01-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Well Ho's I'm hear to report on Joy and Tug's excellent adventure.
First off I want to point out something that I've been meaning to say.

None of this would mean shit if I didn't tell you all how kind and welcoming, Joy makes me feel during our visits.
Our lunch dates are only possible because I'm being routed down I-40 and Timing. My stops and visits with Joy are very brief. It's almost like speed dating but without the dating part. We both talk at break neck speed often jumping from subject to subject. I'm sure anyone listening in on our conversation will truly think we are speaking a different language.
But if any of you few readers are on my route and I happen to come through with just a few minutes to spare, I'll be seeing if you want to meet up and speed visit.
Alright.
Here's our lovely time at the famous Loveless Cafe.

My chariot arrives

Much conversation was spent prior to us meeting due to the fact that Joy would be driving us down the freeway and then off on state highways to our destination.
Please. No one here judges me and my grammar skills including Joy, plus she has told me several times she barely notices. Well I did notice her driving.
She is an impeccable driver!!!
And when I told her she drove very well for her age she was very quick to point out she drove the exact same when she was younger. LOL
What do I know?

Next up we have a game of pick a boo. That is our Joy hiding out behind Bill, I kept asking him where she was and the whole time she was standing behind him.

Here's where the preserves are made and let me tell you this, they are unbelievably delicious!!

And last but not least here is the Pork Chop platter and it was outstanding.
Now in being completely fair, Tug had a terrible sinus infection that came out of nowhere and it showed. So my final judgement will take at least one more visit.

The Loveless Cafe is known for it's biscuits and homemade preserves and trust me they didn't disappoint. They were just perfect. Everything is Home made from scratch and I did taste several things that usually are instant. They passed the test.
The whole place is covered with autographed photos of famous celebrities from everywhere including one of , THE GOD of Southern Food. MS. Paula Deen!!!
Oh, hell Bill and I had our very own celebrity at our table.
|MS. DURHAM!!!!!!
Yes HO'S Joy is a celebrity in this area of Tennessee, at almost all of our meetings someone has come up screaming her name and hugging her. I'm use to it now.
After our meal we walked over to the country store and Bill bought a few items..
Overall? Seriously good food. I loved it.
I think it would be safe to say that it's (Loveless Cafe) the Original Cracker Barrel which is a chain of restaurants that cater to the same comfort foods of the south.
Once again another fabulous visit!!!!

NEW IPAD3

2012-01-05T07:51:00.001-08:00

Looks like someone was good this year and Santa brought them the new IPAD!!!

Driving Miss Tugboat

2012-01-04T21:21:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow Tug will do something he hasn't done in a long time. I will be letting someone else drive me somewhere besides Bill.
Yes Ho's I'll be driven by a chauffeur.
Guess WHO? JOY!!!!! I can not wait either.
Joy and I will be taking a little ride out in the country to enjoy a breakfast like none other, at least from what I hear.
We are going to the Loveless Cafe not far from her home town of Dickson.

She will be coming by and swooping me up at the truck stop and then a quick jaunt down some country roads and VIOLA.
I'm so excited.
So until tomorrow I'll dream of biscuits!!!

WEEEEEE!!!!!

2012-01-03T15:47:00.001-08:00

Ever had one of those days when you wanted to give someone a little nudge to show them whose running this shit.
yea, me too!

2012?

2011-12-31T16:25:00.000-08:00

Yes another year gone.Damn it flew by this year didn't it?
Before I get to that let me tell you my Christmas holiday was filled with excitement galore.
The most exciting thing?
Well, #9 came very close to being a widow. Yes ho's #8 (my BIL) decided to recreate the opening scene from ABC Wild World of Sports with the Agony of defeat title blaring in the background while taking the kids to Mt. Charleston for a day of snow sledding, and skiing.
For you ho's who don't have a clue. Just 45 minutes from downtown Las Vegas you can snow ski in the beautiful mountains of Mt. Charleston.
On Wednesday Bill, Me and #9 decided to take in a movie and a late lunch with relaxation being the activity at hand. The BIL and five kids opted for the mountains.
While enjoying our lovely lunch the phone rings and it's Banana my niece saying that they were headed to the ER with the BIL, he had taken a horrible tumble followed by being run over by the contraption he and the two youngest girls were riding in prior to hitting a huge bump in the mountain.
Well. Long story short, he's fine.
Just another story for the kids to tell as years pass. The girls will forever think it was them mowing him down that did him in. Of course I've laughed about it since.
Like Bill told them when they ask if he wanted to join in the fun. Only three things belong on snow.
Penguins, Polar Bears, and Seals.
Then we had a MIA, Maxine somehow made a break for freedom. After about an hour someone noticed she hadn't made her presence known, which is about 58 minutes to long. I figured she had decided to hang outside with the beautiful weather and all taking advantage of the doggie door we have. After freaking out, I opened the garage door to back out the car to go look for her, when low and behold, Bonnie Parker came flying by with the look of a criminal. Ho's she was on the run!!! Well, We didn't get an answer out of her as to where the hell she had been so we will give thanks to living in a gated community.

Currently I'm on Interstate 40 in Oklahoma, making a mad dash for a parking spot before the drunks decide to drive home and trust me on this one, they will attempt it too.
We have 5,040 pints of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia headed to Richmond, VA. for Tuesday followed by a round trip of the same back to Vegas. Don't ask me why the hell we are taking the same thing east to just bring it back west.
That's trucking ho's.

Well hasn't it been a year!! #9 finishing up her cancer and getting an all clear!! The welcoming of Maxine to the family, and the kids all remaining healthy.
Resolutions? HAHA!! But, I do have plans.
First Bill is going to have to find me a home on the Gulf Coast or I will divorce him
Auntie Flame and I will be taking part in our reenactment of the Thelma and Louis movie, minus the robbing or death and of course our vehicle wont be a Thunderbird.
Job change, YES!! 2012 will be the year of the TUG!!
To David, Joy, Bob, Mrs. A., Howard, Bucko, Dan, Ms.Ginger, George, Froggy, Mr. Mischief, and Maddie, thank you. I adore each and everyone of you.
Here's to happy and healthy New Year to you all.
Thank you for the encouragement, kind words and the comments on my blog here.
Let's Ride ho's!!!

National Geographic. My New favorite thing

2011-12-28T12:54:00.000-08:00

Good lord, I've hit pay dirt. O.k I've blogged about the show TABOO on National Geographic channel and the episode of a woman who lives in a wheelchair as a fake paraplegic. Ho's this one tops it by a mile. Plus if your wondering, I've decided I don't want a child after seeing this.

Enjoy HO's and Mrs. A. I tried to post a clip of the season premiere.

TV show alert

2011-12-27T23:27:00.001-08:00

Hos. A new season of taboo is about to begin and the premiere episode includes one of the craziest things ever.
It called "secret lives". Yes and what a secret some are carrying around.
I'll cut to the chase. In the season premiere teaser One crazy HO is riding around in a wheelchair as a paraplegic but Hos she's perfectly fine.
Yes!! The bitch is perfectly fine and able, she just wants to be handicapped.
Amazing huh.
Add it to the DVR.

WARHORSE. My review

2011-12-27T09:35:00.001-08:00

Alright Hos yesterday I decided to visit my favorite casino down the street and take in a movie. For those who didn't know several of the "local" casinos have huge movie theaters.
With 8 of us I was sure to get feedback on the movie and give a honest straight forward opinion.
Let's get the basics out of the way.
It's a movie about a war and a horse.
2 hours and 26 minutes long.
The first hint the kids would be bored was, Walking in to the theatre it was about 70% full of adults over the age of 60. I can tell you right now it's on target for its demographic.

The good? The horse is gorgeous and the cinematography is STUNNING. few poignant moments but, That is all.

That's it.
This movie is not best picture worthy at all.
I really wanted to love this movie. I kept waiting for my heart to jump out of my chest and burst with emotion.
I laughed a few times and cried once.
But then again I'm a tit bag when an animal dies. NO THAT'S NOT GIVING THE STORY AWAY EITHER.
Several animals and people die.
It's Steven Spielberg and its a war story, people will die!!
Anyho here's the rundown.
#9 told me it was ok but she then she flip flopped on the issue and took a hardline and said it was 2 hrs to long plus the storyline went nowhere. Plus to add insult to injury she said all she thought of was taco meat. (that's another blog post all to its own)
Bill liked it.
The oldest to kids split. One liked other thought it was ok.
Three youngest thought the popcorn and coke rocked.
I say wait for DVD. It's not that great of a movie.
Last. The stage production of WARHORSE has garnered critical acclaim and I would love to see it but the movie is lost in translation.

And we are out!!!!

2011-12-25T23:00:00.000-08:00

Well Thank Gawd that's over with.
The sitting Rib Roast rocked the damn house again. I think I out did myself this year for sure.
Santa has came and went, and I'm so glad this shit is over.
I'm on the fence as to when I'm going back to work. It's suppose to be the 30th but who knows.
Here are a couple photos of the spread, plus what has become of my baby. Maxine is just tuckered the hell out. She has five kids to keep up with, the neighbors, the birds, the scraps they may hit the ground, the sound of the fridgerator opening, anyone knocking on the door, and last but not least the damn evil of a thing called a remote controlled helicopter the boys have that she has declared WAR on. IT WILL DIE!! I've tried telling the boys if that contraption hits the floor and stops she will show it the difference of a recovery mission and a rescue mission.
Anyho, I hope you all had a great couple of days to do nothing but relax.

yes Hos I'm headed to church

2011-12-24T17:50:00.001-08:00

Yes Hos. I'm headed to the church. Matter of fact I'm blogging straight from the pulpit.
Look bitches this ain't by choice either. This best part? I'm coming to not one but two services which by default means I've met my church going quota for next year too.
Yes I have my pup tent /funeral/wedding/birthday party/ special occasion outfit on.
You see #9 tortures her children by making them sing in the choir.
And lawd knows I have to watch them sing.
Anyho Bill has his Sunday best on too.
I've told him not to get it dirty because it would look good on him in a coffin.
Oh well. Laugh Hos!!!
Here's a Merry HO HO to you!! Here in this first photo I have gay face 101 going on.
Tug

uh oh. we're going to need a bigger Samta

2011-12-22T15:34:00.001-08:00

Bitches I'm in it to win it.

the trucker formerly known as Tugboat

2011-12-20T21:34:00.001-08:00

Well. I'm married now. Wanted you all to know first.
And for the next chapter of my life I will focus solely on having a child.
Barumph paah paah.

Oh. And I changed my last name. I never liked the one I had before anyway.
I'm the happiest HO in the whole wide world.

Lets ride Hos.

Last US soldiers leave Iraq, ending long military presence there

2011-12-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

Last US soldiers leave Iraq, ending long military presence there

Merry Christmas

2011-12-16T18:08:00.000-08:00

Have a coke and a smile.
Happy Holidays hos
The hello kitty meltdown is priceless

Want a Snack?

2011-12-16T12:22:00.001-08:00

Ok. Go ahead guess what it dispenses!
No. Not soda, chips or cigarettes.
Give up???
Here at the truck stop in Nebraska you can find this, (and it's not one of a kind, several at other truck stops too) truly different machine.
It dispenses dirty filthy XXX videos and TOYS!!!
Now. If I've not told you Hos. Tug has been in only one adult bookstore in his life, which was shortly followed by a request for him to leave. Something about his fits of uncontrollable laughter.
Anyho.
From the instructions on the screen you swipe your drivers license.
It then displays all it's wonderful products for purchase.
It has movies, oils, condoms and some of the most unbelievable things made from rubber inside.
Damn some of those rubber pieces are over a $100. Scratch that of my Christmas list for a blogger friend.
Oh that reminds me of a story.
Did I tell you the time someone I know walked outside to find their young kids playing fetch with one of her rubber toys? Yes the kids screamed with joy. "look Mom we found one of fidos toys under your bed!"
There you go. Just one of the many things to do and see on the road.
Let's ride Hos!

one word. mcribcasserole

2011-12-16T09:13:00.001-08:00

Ok. Here's the deal.
For you mcrib lovers. The dream is dying fast. I've been to three McDs and they are no longer selling them.
Yes Hos I'm torn up.
Anyho. Thanks to the blessings of FB and Miss Ginger, I seen the ideal of making this blessed item.

I'm in search of the perfect mcrib casserole recipe.
Let the cooking begin. But first a Hos gotta find a mcrib.
Off to the mcrib locator!!!!

Handicapped, wings, and an observation

2011-12-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to share something that blows my mind every damn time I see it.
Not only do they have handicap parking spots at grocery stores and malls. They have them at truck stops too.
Yes Ho's Here's the proof

Can you believe it? Yes they're at the door too. Yes they are full every night. Yes you have to have a plastic blue placard in the window.
Now before you get your big ass granny panties in a wad. I understand handicap individuals deserve the choice and right to drive just like me.
Oh, I almost forgot. I've seen a truck with a built in lift that comes out the side of the sleeper and lowers you to the ground. My only thought when I saw (for Joy) it was, God I hate roller coasters and ain't no way I'm riding that lift down from up there just to be able to drive truck. Who the hell would you call if it got stuck or it quit working.
So chew on that for awhile.
If you have noticed lately trailers are being equipped with a weird little side skirt.
No, it's not a nifty snow plow for when we turn around in a lot. It's a skirt..

You can thank California and the "tree huggers" (is that offensive and prejudice?) The State decided in order to clean the air even more and help stop smog, they would require big rig trucks to outfit trucks with these skirts for aerodynamics that would then help fuel mileage, that in turn would help out the air index meters. If you ask me they could have banned Bentley's and Suburbans carrying less than 4 people and it would make as much sense.
They are MANDATORY. Did I forget that part. Soon any truck pulling a trailer in the state of California will have to have these or get FINED. And ho's trust me. California will fine your ass.
They also included some other shit but it's not nearly as important as this..
Shit I forgot my observation?
What the hell was I going to rant about???
Good Lord. That's a damn shame I started the post and had three things I was going to blog about.
Fuck it. Next..
Joy just sent me a text about Chikfila-homophobic chicken sandwiches for Christians only, and a divine act happened. The news broadcast a story about the Chikfila in California.
Here it is
So you know when they ask your name after order something at a fast food joint and write it on the receipt? (I always make up some festive name too)
The ho's at this specific CFA make names up too.
It seems she wrote on two Asian customers receipt some ugly racial insensitive names, Chung and Chong, I believe is what the news said. Well don't feel bad the two Asians saved and then TWEETED the paper out across the world.
All kinds of ugly.
Just another reason not to eat there or shop at LOWES. but that's another post.
Here's a link to the story
.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2073771/Racist-receipts-Chick-fil-A-Cashier-fired-mocking-Asian-customers.html#socialLinks
Let's Ride Ho's

So what the hell's going on with you?

2011-12-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

Hello blog ho's.
It's been awhile since I've blogged anything and seeing that I'm sitting still, I figured what the hell.
Currently I'm sitting in St. Louis waiting to be unloaded tomorrow morning, I carried a load of naked Juice from California out here. Several friends have said they love that stuff. eh.

I delivered a partial load of it to Kansas City in a cave. That never gets old. Of course couple of rookie drivers down in the place kept fucking all kinds of shit up. Space is limited down there.
Nothing (phone, radio, etc) works either, and of course they want you to turn your truck off.
While sitting there I really let my mind go away. You hear about the Chilean Miners and Chinese miners getting trapped. Anyho I lived to tell the tale. Yes I'm still driving for the same cheap ass company. Don't get me started.

Tomorrow is Momma Tug's 71st Birthday. To damn bad she had to up and die on us in 2003. I often wonder what she would be doing if still alive. One thing I do know, she would really be pissed that we moved to Vegas after she died and without her. Guess I could go out to Bluebonnet Cemetery in Texas with my dustbuster and pick her up. But then she'd be pissed cause she always hated dust, just better I leave her the hell alone, She hated for someone to wake her ass up too
I guess I'll take the day and go eat some fancy Pot Pie somewhere and reminisce.

I didn't make it home for Thanksgiving and it absolutely fucking sucked, that wont happen again. Me and #9 were talking on the phone and we went down memory lane from last years Turkey Day.
Do any of you remember it?
If not let me refresh your memory.
Well #9 just had surgery. Ho's she hadn't been home but a few days and boy she felt like shit.
Anyho I went upstairs to check on her and there she sat. She wasn't going downstairs for the Turkey meal and that was that.
I ask why and she said. "Look at me, I have no makeup or hair"
Ho's Tug took action.

I whipped her up in no time. I called it my "Whatever Happened to BabyJana" look. Yes we laugh about it now.
Sometimes that's all you can do about it. #9 has just had her check up and she has made a unbelievable recovery with all clear results. Thank you everyone for your kind words during that time. I don't know if I told all of you Thank You
Christmas is just around the corner and you bet I'll have my ass home for this holiday.

Maxine is coming up on her one year birthday in January. What can I say about her? She is death with four legs. Bitch is evil. There are a couple of things you wont do when she is in the truck.
You will not place any part of your body inside the truck without Bill or I present.
I don't know what went wrong? We have always been sweet to her and she is good around #9's lab and the kids but ho let a stranger come along. OY VEY.
She's 70 lbs of pure bitch.
I love her to pieces too though. Here's a photo of me and Bill struggling to hold her up. She is learning things in a snap. Like what is edible in the blink of an eye and her favorite game of I can sneak in to a bed without anyone knowing it. Aint she a doll. Mean fuck doll but just adorable.

that's it. There is more but I'm bored. My ADD has kicked in and I'm in the middle of playing words with #9, texting with Joy about another puppy I DON'T NEED, and reading blogs. Does anyone else zoom through Bob's blog on Monday to see if the won the coveted ISBL guest comment of the week award? Me neither.
oh there's Joy again. I gotta go.
Let's Ride Ho's

Coming Soon to a corner near you

2011-12-08T08:03:00.001-08:00

Because you can never have enough shit made in China that cost more than a dollar.
Yes Hos we have been invaded by a Walmart competitor.
Las Vegas has been bombarded by a new twist on the dollar general front.
It's a market/grocery store.
And nothing is a dollar either.
Several locations.
Being the inquisitive HO I swung by and checked it out. Here's what I found.

To begin with I'm not a dollar store fan. At all.
But I was surprised that this place had some name brand food items including fresh fruit and veggies, reasonably priced.
Yes they had the normal crap in half the store but I couldn't help but love the essential stuff. Milk, bread and eggs sat at the front of the store with an easy express register at the door for those who want to walk in and out.
Actually I was shocked.
This was a great idea. The store is essentially the same size of a normal Walgreens.
There you have it dollar store Hos.

Best Grammy Performance.

2011-12-06T19:06:00.001-08:00

Since the grammy award nominations have been announced i thought about In my opinion the greatest Grammy performance ever.
Yes Hos. This is the shit. If you have any rebuttals come on with it.
I'm sure one of you bitches will point to Babs or Whitney. But before you do.
You better think.
Exhibit A.

Editorial update.

2011-12-02T16:17:00.001-08:00

After posting my previous response to a hateful letter pointing out my grammar handicap, I need to make it perfectly clear.
I'm absolutely positive who sent the letter and since I'm 99% positive it was sent from a family member I can unequivocally say not
Joy, Mrs. A. Froggy or any other teacher had anything to do with it.
I love my huge teacher following.
Love and kisses HO

a letter from the fucking Editor

2011-12-02T06:40:00.001-08:00

It recently has been brought to my attention (again) that my blog post and comments on other post of blog Hos contain several mistakes (grammar and all that other wonderful stuff I slept through during high school) and that maybe if I proof read any of it I would be able to catch the errors.
Uh huh. That's exactly what I was thinking.

To my psycho stalker please be advised whenever I come through your city I'll be sure not to stop.
My confession.
All my blog post including adding photos/videos and comments are typed and sent from my iPhone., usually while I'm doing several other things.
My excuse? No. Here's the excuse part.
You see I have this condition. It's called, HO I JUST KNOW I'M GOING TO FUCKING MISS SOMETHING.(hit send)
Anyho. Please understand, I do see the mistakes after I've already sent them. Yes. I cringe right along with you too.
But. This is me HO. TUG.
So there you have it. My crutch or deflecting whatever the fuck you want to call it.
And now back to our regular progamming.
Xoxo. Haha.
Let's pack it up.

Tell me. Am I overreacting here?

2011-12-01T17:07:00.001-08:00

So. The other day while luxuriating and waiting on my 6212 pints of Dublin mudslide Ben & Jerry's ice cream I saw this commercial.
Please take one minute and watch this and tell me if you see anything wrong with it.

Now. I LOVE the first 52 seconds. It's the last eight I have a problem with.
If you didn't know Tug hasn't always been a resident of Sin City.
No HO, I'm a Texan!! Born and raised Tug's worthless ass Daddy was from Corpus Christi and would drag poor Lil ol Tug to the salt water to fish often while his Pop drank beer and smoked enough Winston's to cloud a good size bingo hall. (I'm spinning aren't I)
Anyho. The Gulf coast is my soon to be retirement stomping ground and I love all of it from Florida to Texas.
What pisses me off is the big BP at the end.
Come on for crying out loud Eunice.
Gee. It was a wonderful commercial did you have to go and remind us why you made it??
I know I'm probably just being a real Debbie the downer and yes bigger issues surround us but for once couldn't it just be about the gulf coast and all it's beautiful things?
Lets Ride Hos!!!

Ms. Jody Watley

2011-12-01T10:25:00.001-08:00

Lost gem. I seen this years ago and ran across it today. Amazing how a song will change after the listener has experienced the lyrics.
This song is beautiful. I'm sure she was singing about her man (Andre) at the time. I fall apart at the 5:01 mark. That was pain right there.
Sing it HO!!!
Bitches you don't hear me!!!!

Sunday Sermon

2011-11-27T09:01:00.001-08:00

Hos bullying most stop. This is my Sunday sermon via Lady Gaga.

AMEN

will you watch it? will you post it?

2011-11-25T15:41:00.001-08:00

Yes.

my new favorite

2011-11-21T14:43:00.001-08:00

This is Tug's new favorite singer.
This HO is fierce.

IT'S ON HO!!!!

2011-11-17T15:48:00.001-08:00

First bitches.
My Christmas list just got longer. For all my bacon lovers. I give you

BACON LUBE.
http://baconlube.com/

Any questions??
GET THE SLIP AND SLIDE OUT HOS. And the lettuce, tomatoes, bread.

Another idea stolen

2011-11-15T10:58:00.001-08:00

Another idea I let slip by.
Why? Why? Why?
Tell me. Who's calling to order one of these??

Oops I did it again

2011-11-10T08:47:00.001-08:00

Rick Perry continues to shine in his GOP debates.
Did you get to see the 55 seconds of unlimited comic material he produced last night??
Yes it was one of the best moments of television ever.
Trust me the Five areas of government will be part of a trivia game everywhere this week.
Let's ride Hos

Ho's your gonna not love me!!

2011-11-09T09:19:00.001-08:00

Good day Hos!!

Just a few observations to piss of my Gay Icon lovers.
Where do I start?
How about with The Rosie show on OWN.
Hopefully I'm not the only one watching it but that could be accurate knowing that I'm positive I'm the only one on google+.
So, last night they had Mariah on and she was showing off her "new" body.
She should have said new face.
My first thought was that Rosie was fucking with the audience, that ain't Mariah!
But Hos it was her.
I love how they moved her belly button too! I've been wanting to get my belly button redid too! Different holes in different area codes is what they should have called it
Anyho, Is it me or is Mariah skirting dangerously close to Diana Ross and Chaka Khan territory with that long ass unruly hair?

Mariah is on the Jenny Craig diet. Your joking right? So when did Jenny Craig start serving liposuction as a side dish?
Next up.
Now before any of you send out the gay ninja force remember I'm a truck driver and I have no sense whatsoever.
The new single from Madonna or as I kindly refer to her as Madoodoo!!
Oh my gawd have you heard that shit????
Please stop it Grandma.
I've heard better remix tapes from Yoko Ono.
Does anyone see her resemblance to Madame Flowers? Google it if you are in doubt.
I'm out of bullets!!
Oh yeah, I'll leave Cher alone since I vow to never disparage the senior citizens.

Let's ride Hos

a postcard from the road!

Brunch

2011-11-06T10:09:00.001-08:00

Friends enjoying a lovely brunch.
No gossiping either.
Lol

Max, football, and a new phone

2011-10-29T15:56:00.001-07:00

Thursday I had Maxine spayed and she is not taking it well at all.
She has to be the worst patient ever.
The vet said 1 1/2 pills twice a day. She doesn't even blink.
I gave her two pills and she managed to get her cone off.

Currently watching game two of a three game series during my time off. I forgot how much fun it is to see Jordan progress at this sport. He's growing up so fast!!!

Finally, my new iPhone came Friday too. Oh what sweet joy.
On Wednesday I dropped my iPhone in a glass of tea and it went off and never came back on. It was an ugly scene.
It was a real terms of endearment type thing. You had to be there. I was speechless for the remainder of the night.
Why this phone means that much to me I'll never know.
It completes me.
Don't hate me Hos.

Well this is day 4 of a 7 day vacation.
Did i mention the weather is impeccably beautiful???

Are You Ready for some FOOTBALL????

2011-10-26T17:57:00.001-07:00

My first game of the season, I've missed the first few games but as usual Jordan is the standout of the team.
If any of you have been followers of mine any time, you have followed Jordan's career too...
Here he is now.

a change is coming!!

2011-10-24T15:10:00.001-07:00

Hos I feel the winds of change setting course.
Tug has tried to reform to the title of company driver several times. In the last 18 months I have fought my desire to go back to owner/operator status but the first shot has been fired.
It all boils down to pennies bitches, yes HO you read that right, PENNIES!!
Every quarter we are evaluated on our mileage, fuel consumption, and safety.
Here's the break down during each quarter:
Oh and yes it takes until the last week of the month after the quarter ends to get these bolts and screws.
1 cent for every mile over 33,000
1 cent for every mile with no accidents or HOS (hour or service) violations
1 cent for fuel every mile over 6.5 mpg

Now being the superior HO of over the road, and not to mention a mileage queen, I always obtain the mileage bonus.
The fuel bonus is a joke, HO I've had virgin ass more than the fuel bonus.
Now the safety bonus is like freaky Friday night on the prison rec yard, all you have to do is show up and you can get it.

To the car chase bitches, the head HO in charge over in safety has decided my logs are not up to snuff to qualify for the safety bonus.
DID I FORGET TO MENTION WE HAVE ELECTRONIC LOGS??
They are fuck up proof.
But no I'm a special kinda gal. I called to check on how and why, and yes of course the HO has sped off for the rest of the day.
I've drawn my line in the glitter.
IF TUGBOAT DON'T GET HIS BONUS, then I will quit this bitch.

THE WISE AND POWERFUL HO HAS SPOKEN!!

Police Bust Shake-And-Bake Meth Lab - Albuquerque News Story - KOAT Albuquerque

2011-10-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

Police Bust Shake-And-Bake Meth Lab - Albuquerque News Story - KOAT Albuquerque

Well leave it to New Mexico to introduce us to a new and exciting cooking method!!

hos!!! it's back!!!!!

2011-10-23T12:28:00.001-07:00

Ho it's with great joy I announce,
Bitch the Mcrib is back in play.

For those who love this McDonald's delicacy I've included a Mcrib locator link
http://kleincast.com/maps/mcrib.php

I'm currently enjoying my sex in a box !!

For Bob

2011-10-21T12:37:00.001-07:00

This is the best female voice in music today.

This is dedicated as a diva battle with my blog pal, Bob.
You see, Bob loves him some Adele, who I believe has a beautiful voice also, I just don't feel she's as good as all her fans or Bob think.
Now before you hos all get hostile and shit, this is just good clean fun!! Hostyle
Now, I'll sit back and watch as Bob blows his page up with Adele performances to counter my little video.
Yes hos I'm that small minded to think he (Bob) sits up just waiting to post an Adele video to further his argument of just how great she is.
Anyho, here's Kelly Clarkson the anti-dele. Yes I just made that word up!
Let's ride HO!

HO have you ever had one of those days?

2011-10-21T07:38:00.001-07:00

true

2011-10-07T14:38:00.001-07:00

I have a SON!!

2011-09-29T14:17:00.001-07:00

Well I've managed to stay around here at this job long enough to wear out a truck.

So without further ado.
We are now driving a brand new truck that I will christen Leroy.

I've always wanted a boy.
Sue Ellen has been retired to that big fleet lot in the sky.

One of many

2011-09-26T11:55:00.001-07:00

A few post back I copied an entire story from Bob and his blog, I should be laughing.

It was the story of Jamey Rodemeyer and his senseless death.
Here is a beautiful tribute to him.
Of course the world has moved on and in time he will/has become just another lost child to what I call an epidemic.
A dear blog friend Mrs A. Who teaches and mentors kids in this age group wrote in my comment section.

what angers me is kids and their parents use the old standby- i was just playing.... that kind of passive aggressive behavior is bullying and too many teachers and administrators let it slide by.

Yes, parents are quick to defend their lovely babies as just being kids, which I think is shit.

Froggy wrote on the same post.

Middle school is my least favorite place on the planet. I would love to see it disappear.

And I agree that middle school has some of the meanest kids ever. I've taken #9's kids to school and this group always left me speechless.
For those who hate videos and Lady Gaga please take a moment and watch this I'm sure you will be glad you did. It truly is beautiful.
Tug

RIP Vesta

2011-09-23T12:14:00.001-07:00

If you followed 80's R&B then you most likely know Vesta Williams.
She was found dead in L.A. on Thursday.

I use to sing her hit "congratulations" at the top of my lungs, with the fantasy of LL Cool J not marrying me.
HO, I need love.

Anyway here hopefully is a clip of her Sangin' my favorite Vesta hit.
The girl still had it after all those years.
Lighters up hos!!

Good Ol' Nut Sack Roll

2011-09-22T17:10:00.001-07:00

Yes hos it's that time again.
Every TWO years I have to trot my fat ass down to the local legal molestation facility.
It's requires we have a medical evaluation which includes my least favorite thing ever. The fondling of my ball sack.
Now some of you may say that things could be worse.
#9 can go in to horrific detail about the twat doctor and the unspeakable acts bestowed on a woman during an exam.
But, I can one up her, women don't have a prostate. and nothing could possibly be worse than an ugly brown index finger.
TOUCHE'
Anyho, I've yet to have my prostate checked by an accredited doctor but that is still a few years down the road.
Here's the best part.
I am going to a random facility where I won't know the perp.
Did I say how much I hate this?
Ho, the first thing they do is weigh you, followed by vital signs and then eye, ear, squat test. Yes HO they make you drop it low and bring it back up. I excel at these test.
Up next is the golden pee in a cup, they say this is to check you for diabetes.
Then they lead you back to a private room for the deflowering.
Hernia my ass.
I mean if it was a sexual thing i could deal with it but its A STRANGER???
What kind of HO let's a stranger touch her bits and pieces?
I can vividly remember these painful scars.
The worst?
The last one, a big ol' fat queen. Bitch wasn't even a doctor either. Pfft.
Before that a young female doctor, before that an older black woman in Oklahoma.
Etc etc.
Bill on the other hand has no problems with any of it. Bastard.
Oh well!
Ok hos scrub'em good and a maybe a dash of powder to keep em' fresh.
Cough cough.

ONE LIFE IS TO MANY!!!!!

2011-09-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!!! I lifted this entire post from Bob. His blog is here http://ishouldbelaughing.blogspot.com/ and it's a must read!!!!!!! I can't put in words what this story means to me. I'm not rational enough to post something that deserves recognition. It makes me so angry to think one CHILD is lost due to society and it's blindness to this epidemic.

Jamey Rodemeyer was just fourteen, and already the victim of bullying and harassment. But it looked like Jamey was going to survive the taunts and the teases; he even created his own 'It Gets Better' YouTube video, in which he said, in part, “That's all you have to do. Just love yourself and you're set. And I promise you, it'll get better.”Sadly, for Jamey, it didn't get better.Jamey Rodemeyer took his life this past Sunday, his parents discovering his body after returning from a weekend camping trip.Tracy Rodemeyer, Jamey's mother, says he was always taunted and teased and bullied because of his sexuality: "So he hung around with the girls a lot, so then the teasing started happening like 'Oh you're such a girl or you're gay or whatever and that bothered him for many years."Jamey’s father Tim Rodemeyer said, "To the kids who are bullying they have to realize that words are very powerful and what you think is just fun and games isn't to some people, and you are destroying a lot of lives."It isn't just a game. it isn't just kids being kids, because kids being kids doesn't usually end up with one of the kids taking his or her own life.It has to stop. The kids who are being bullied need to stand up and speak up to their parents and teachers about what's being done to them "all in good fun." And parents need to take this seriously; your kids are literally being bullied to death. this is not a joke, or a rite of passage. Bullying = Death.And the schools, all schools everywhere, need to adopt, and enforce, a Zero Tolerance Policy on bullying. You bully a student, you're suspense. Do it again, you're out.This has to stop. How do we let a young man like this take his own life? Why do we let it happen?If you know of someone who is being bullied, or if you are the victim of bullying, there are plenty of places to seek help:The Trevor Project 24/7 Suicide Hotline for GLBTQI Youth1-866-4-U-Trevor www.thetrevorproject.orgUSA National Suicide Prevention Hotline 24/7, Free & Confidential 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TalkHow to Get Help from Bullies? www.StopBullying.gov

TWO WOMEN ARRESTED STEALING FROM ARBY'S!!

2011-09-15T15:25:00.001-07:00

Well straight from the dust bunny nation to you.
The Queen bunny will be releasing a statement after the Buffett line closes.

Updated September 14, 2011 10:18 PM
By Staff reports - JohnsonCityPress.com

You may expect to hear about art theft from the Louvre or the Guggenheim or the Museum of Modern Art, but Arby’s?

Two women from Erwin were charged Tuesday with stealing $1,200 worth of art work from a Johnson City Arby’s restaurant.

According to Johnson City police, Connie L. Sumlin, 45, 114 Masters St., and Gail Trula Johnson, 58, Parsley St., both of Erwin, were accused of stealing art from the lobby area of Arby’s, 1909 South Roan St., on Sept. 3.

On Sept. 7, police said Arby’s store manager Susan Kennedy, 43, notified police that two women, who were later identified as Sumlin and Johnson, were caught on the store’s surveillance camera stealing both a picture of pears in a wooden frame and a piece of metal wall art that had recently been purchased during remodeling of the restaurant.

According to the police report, the surveillance footage showed both women stopping in the lobby to look at the art on the wall. One of the women removed both items and carried them inside, while the other woman entered the store and purchased some food before leaving.

Sumlin and Johnson were later identified using the video surveillance and the transaction information from the food purchase.

Both women were charged with theft over $500. They were being held in the Washington County Detention Center on $1,000 bonds.

Sumlin and Johnson were scheduled to appear in Washington County Sessions Court Wednesday.

LIVE LATE BREAKING!!!

2011-09-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

Sue Ellen has been hit, slapped and drug across the parking lot hos!!!
Stand by for news.
On a lighter note the Po Po is hot hot hot. I may need a strip search and patty down.
I'm trying hard to get a photo.
That doesn't sound right?
Oh well you know what the hell I mean.

I'm thankful for...

2011-09-12T09:07:00.001-07:00

The (handicap) Too fat for a booth seats at Waffle house!
For the big gals out there that are terrified of a damn booth, rest assured that if you visit a waffle house you will find TWO precious seats that are often situated in a small corner for us large Marge types.
Bitch don't hate.

I'm the head bitch in charge

2011-09-10T20:25:00.001-07:00

Update.

For those animal lovers I'm doing a small update on my baby, Max.

She just turned 7 months old and she tips the scale at 40 lbs.
And...
The bitch is mean.
I don't know where or how it won't all terribly wrong. She doesn't like men. AT ALL.
She is nice to #9's hubs and adores the kids but HO let a stranger try to sneak up on her.
Oy Vey.
Bill and I have showered her with love and she has become quite a great road dog.
She and I have been trading the crown of who's running what and I've let it be known, I'm THE QUEEN of all hos!

Her new collar and tags. The last collar was dismantled and gawd only knows what became of the old tags.

"I'm eating that phone too"

Hello, my name us Tug

2011-09-08T13:46:00.001-07:00

Hos.
I'm an addict.
It all started so innocently, just a few times a week.
Now, it's completely over the top. Making matters worse my very dear JOYous friend has confided in me that she too has a problem
What's the drug of choice?

Let's play HO.

Warning HO. look the hell away!

2011-09-07T10:08:00.001-07:00

Just recently I had the opportunity for an eight hour vacation at the house.
Arriving I had many productive plans to get at least one thing done.
My first mistake?
Asking Bill for the remote.
Second misstep?
Tuning in to watch Dance Moms on the lifetime channel.
Exhibit a

Hos for the next 8 1/2 hours I sat through the whole season.
What's even worse? Exposing Bill and #9 to it. So there we were wasting hours watching more drama than All My Children could ever produce in 40yrs.
One good thing happened. #9 realized that the soccer Moms on Courts team weren't that bad after all.
And that was my vacation.
Let's ride hos.

I'm in love with a death row HO.

2011-09-03T16:10:00.001-07:00

Poor poor Yvonne. It seems she grew tired of a life on the run after staring down death row.
It just makes me wonder why do we eat cows and not horses? I mean whose dick did the horses suck to get out of that food chain?
Here's what is even crazier, the government outlawed the consumption of horse meat in the US. Apparently is perfectly ok to bath or wash clothes with a dead horse though.

Not that I'm looking to sit down and enjoy some thoroughbred tail soup or Clydesdale stew.
Oh I'm sure some are going to say that a horse has some sort of intelligence that a cow lacks. Bullshit.
Ask Yvonne. I'm sure that bitch can speak more than one language. Hell she even shows she has heart.

Runaway cow tracked down in Germany

GEIR MOULSON
Published: Sep 1, 2011 12:28 PM
BERLIN (AP) - A cow named Yvonne whose escape kept a corner of Bavaria on tenterhooks has turned herself in after three months on the run.

The Gut Aiderbichl animal sanctuary, which now owns the errant bovine, said Thursday that a farmer had called to say Yvonne had shown up on her farm in the Muehldorf area, near the Austrian border. One of the sanctuary's employees was able to confirm Yvonne's identity with the help of her ear tag.

The brown dairy cow escaped from a Bavarian farm in May, then hid in forests. A few days later, she was involved in a near-collision with a police car, and local authorities labeled her a public danger.

Gut Aiderbichl bought Yvonne from her former owners and took the lead in trying to find her.

The six-year-old cow "apparently got tired of the loneliness," the local council in Muehldorf said in a statement, adding that she had jumped over a fence to join her fellow bovines.

Yvonne is now grazing contentedly with four calves and appears "healthy and calm," it added. Her owners were on their way to pick up the cow.

A special video dedication

2011-09-02T07:41:00.001-07:00

A video dedication to me.

Don't laugh HO.

Hos I'm a MOTHAF%#kin hero

2011-09-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

Yes over this laat weekend I performed a heroic deed. I'm still waiting for the media to catch up with me. Doubt it will happen though. Everybody knows truck drivers are creepy, perverted and down right lazy.
Oh well back to playing the lottery.
For your info I kept a driver from being hurt by stopping him before his gasoline tanker blew the fuuck up.
It was already on fire. He didn't even have a clue.
I guess you can say I was his angel bitches.
I'm telling this story because I'm an attention whore.
I was in Wyoming out in BFE (bum fuck Eygpt) after midnight when a gasoline tanker truck came whizzing by. After passing me I flipped my lights off letting him know it was safe to come back over, as soon as my lights were off, I seen it.
A spark and small flicker coming from his inside rear trailer wheel. I immediately snapped the fuck awake and tried to call the driver on the radio. No answer, plus he was pulling away from my 65 moh governed truck.
A million thoughts raced through my head. Picking my phone up I soon realized that my phone showed no signal. Damn.
A small hill up above allowed my catch him and again I shut my lights off.
God lord Jesus. It was a huge flame now. All I could think of was, this mothafucker is loaded, he still has his placards on.
On this stretch of highway 18 from Lusk, Wyomong going towards Newcastle there are no services for 81 miles, and honey traffic is null and void. No one travels this road at night.
Frantically I began flashing my lights.
After what seemed an eternity, I hear "you alright back there driver?" in the most carefree draw ever.
Hos, in my calmest voice ever I yelled. "YOU HAVE A FUCKING F I R EEEEEEE!!!!"

The driver immediately hit the brakes and pulled over, the flames were unreal now. As I swung around him "I said to him, I'll call 911 when I get a signal, and YOU can thank me later" and ho's I kept Nancy moving along at 65. I never seen an explosion, and trust me out there I would have seen it.
End of story.
Ok ok. Why didn't I stop?
1. I knew my small fire extinguisher was useless, and gas haulers are required to carry a more adequate unit.
2. I needed to make a 911 call, and being there was not allowing me to do it.
3. Ho I am not about to be roasted on an open flame. Are you crazy?

For thirty long minutes I waited till I was able to call 911. They weren't excited and said they would send someone to check it out.

So there it is Ho.
End of story.
Let's save people's lives and shit Ho.

oh hell there's that smile.

2011-08-31T21:16:00.001-07:00

Who loves you baby?

Lordjesus. Someone please help!!!

2011-08-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

I just read the list of Dancing with the ho's contestants.

Could anyone explain to me why Chaz Bono is dancing with a woman when she still clearly has a clit?

I'm really really confused. This is as bad as, when I was a 11 yrs. old, a fifth grade boy ask me to suck his pecker at church back in the day.

Then this lead to a long discussion with Joy today about the subject of Chaz too, it appears she(chastity) still has her vagina and is on hormones, so it got me to wondering about a bunch of why's and what not's.

Which lead to a discussion of a woman on hormones and gawd forbid if I didn't mention that Howard Stern is always talking about a past semi-famous ex-female wrestler who had a sex tape that showed her clit that had taken the shape of a baby penis head from all the hormone abuse.

How I ever got to this point in the conversation I'll never fucking know.

But anyho. Cover your eyes hos cause I have the Internet and malware protection and ain't afraid to use it.

And bitches this is purely for you to judge for yourself. AND IT AIN'T PHTOSHOPPED. apparently this is not a secret to many in the entertainment world either.

You be the judge.

BAM. Well?

http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/sports/chyna/
Here's a link if you need more info. I'm all out of answers.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071109145152AAcjUyp

Things I hate...

2011-08-29T13:39:00.001-07:00

In no particular order.

People who drive a car while holding a pet.
Those who don't know how to use an accelerating ramp.
Fox news.
Most all cellular phone companies.
The entire state of Utah, New Mexico, and South Dakota.
Indian casinos.
Tea that's bottled or from a soda fountain.
But my biggest bitch is those who constantly dog Lady GAGA.
For you haters here is the only response I have.
Of course you probably won't watch it all.

This is how it's done at 8 am while playing the piano too, Adele.

Hulkshare mobile - Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All [WWW.FINESTBLACKBEATZ.US].mp3

2011-08-27T19:12:00.001-07:00

Hulkshare mobile - Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All [WWW.FINESTBLACKBEATZ.US].mp3

Happy HODAY David!!!

2011-08-26T11:48:00.001-07:00

We have a birthday ho up in here!!!
The Queen of Dust Bunnies!! www.daviddust.com has turned another year older First, your gift!!! Who doesnt need a gal pal named Patty?? Plus she comes with 3 hos!!!!!!!!! Says right there on the box.

All David wanted was a good man but this week that will be eclipsed by THE
BLOWJOB OF HER LIFE!!!! Which will last all weekend.

PS. Some bitch by the name of Irene is trying to fuck up your special weekend. Just sayin.

Enjoy it HO.
Love Tug.

breaking gossip

2011-08-23T09:38:00.001-07:00

Hos I'm calling it Right fucking now.

Follow me.
First. Jlo and Marc Anthony split.
Second. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett split.

Now I will introduce exhibit A.

Take that Gonzales Marriott!
I am the HO of all media!!!

Chaka

2011-08-22T14:26:00.001-07:00

Love her.

yes. out of underwear.

2011-08-21T14:59:00.001-07:00

I'm in backwoods Missouri acting as straight as I ever have. I swear there is an old lady here that looks just like granny clampett, when she would dress up like a movie star. Except this HO has dark brown hair.

Well just to give you an idea just how far behind they are here I've included some photos

But tug has opted for the more modern machines.

Damn I keep hearing banjos?

damn I hate it when that happens

2011-08-20T12:18:00.001-07:00

Ok. Here's a classic. No skid marks, no blown tire, middle of the day, perfect weather all adds up to one thing.
Bitch done nodded off at the wheel.

GO HO GO!!!

2011-08-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

It seems that they have a runaway ho on their hands in Germany. A beautiful heifer named "Yvonne" has eluded the police for several months and ain't nothin' stopping her now, she escaped while on her way to walking the green mile down at the schnitzel factory. You know the bitch is singing "If I cant have you, I don't want nobody else."
Gawd, I love this Ho!!!!
They need to elect this bitch to office.

Just look at this bitch eyeball fucking the camera!!! I can hear her telling all those other bitches on the farm now. "fuck those two dumbass cows from Chikfila, these ho's is trying to kill a bitch!!!!"
Yvonne, Ho run for your motherfucking life. Cause when they catch yo ass they is goin to kill you.
Now this is what I would be whispering in to Yvonne's ear if I could but of course she knows this already.
Gurl, ain't nothing like a high speed chase.

CRAZY has a first name.

2011-08-15T18:33:00.001-07:00

It's M i c h e l l e
This bitch can not be president.

the GOP's NEW TEN COMMANDMENTS

2011-08-13T17:42:00.001-07:00

Thou Shalt Not Raise ANY Taxes
Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Make Abortion Illegal
Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Define Marriage as the Union of a Man and a Woman
Thou Shalt Repeal "ObamaCare," AKA the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
Thou Shalt Repeal The Dodd-Frank Banking Regulation Act
Thou Shalt Pass a Constitutional Amendment to Balance the Federal Budget
Thou Shalt Only Give Military Support to "Our Friends"
Thou Shalt Limit the Power of -- If Not Entirely Abolish -- the EPA
Thou Shalt Drill, Mine and Frak to the Widest Extent Possible
Thou Shalt Take the Name of President Obama in Vain

You can read the whole story here.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/13/gop-presidential-primary-_n_926293.html

I am In.

2011-08-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

marriage

2011-08-05T11:47:00.001-07:00

If Michelle Bachmann can marry a gay man, why can't I?

REVISED!!! Are you smarter than a 50 yr. old Ho?

2011-08-02T15:42:00.001-07:00

Tug wants to know? How smart a ho are you?
In my quest to find the smartest ho, I'll be placing trivia, riddles, and calculus math question on my blog every Tuesday.
At the end of the month I'll award that smartest ho a special one of a kind surprise!!

With that, here is this Tuesday's question.

It's a regular occurrence to have snow FALL in this state on 4th of July.
What state am I?

Bill

2011-07-31T14:51:00.000-07:00

My baby. I love you.
Tug

NUDE!!!!Naked!!! muscle!!

2011-07-31T12:52:00.001-07:00

Ok hos. Yea. I lied. But I will link you to some hawt photos. First though
Please make your blogs mobile friendly. If you read this and haven't done it yet. Please go to your blogger settings and make your blogs mobile friendly. If you want to check out what it looks like just click my blog from your phone.
Hos this will change everything for those of us that would like to read your blog while mobile. If you check it out you will see that all it takes is a check mark and viola.
As for half naked men? Need I say more?

www.daviddust.com

Here you will find everything you've ever wanted and more.
Trust me this hos has got the goods and never disappoints.

Lets get mobile ho!!!

Max at 6 months old and a side note.

2011-07-31T10:03:00.001-07:00

Just outside of Butte, MT. But of course to piss of the assholes at the truck-stop I refer to it as BUTT!
These hos (people of Montana) are so confused about everything! Don't get me started,
It's been awhile so I thought I would just update you hos on Maxine.
As you can see she's getting big but she still has that puppy face.
Hope everyones having a safe and fun summer.
My blogging juices are starting to rumble so watch your ass hos.
Tug is gonna blow this bitch up soon.
For right now?
Let's ride hos!!

Obama Didn't Create Today's Budget Deficit Problem. Bush Did. | The New Republic

2011-07-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

Obama Didn't Create Today's Budget Deficit Problem. Bush Did. | The New Republic

Post Created Jul 23, 2011 10:10:33 AM

2011-07-23T10:10:00.001-07:00

Rip beautiful

the dust baby bunny peace biatch club

2011-07-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

Me initiating #9's youngest, which will be now known as #14.
This is her first "peace beyotch"
Which I think is quite fabulous.
She's our youngest star in the crew!
Oh excuse me I forgot my wig in this photo too!